Random Thought Thread

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Now I'm dizzy 🥴


have some coffee and get your mind right



IMG_6948.jpeg
 

Carburetor​

Wife: “There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor.”
Husband: “Water in the carburetor? That’s ridiculous.”
Wife: “I tell you the car has water in the carburetor.”
Husband: “You don’t even know what a carburetor is. Where’s the car?”
Wife: “In the swimming pool.”
 
Billy was my best friend in high school. We were inseparable through the last 2.5 years of it.

He was also a great prankster.

We decided on Halloween to go camping on what we locals called Rattlesnake Island - an uninhabited mangrove island less than 200 yards from shore, in a branch of the river I grew up on. Not sure how it got its name, but Florida is home to the Eastern Diamondback Rattlesnake...the largest venomous snake in North America, so I can only assume they'd been seen on the island at some point.

We got our gear together and went to see Zina for some weed. She called it Mexican Tripweed. She also told us it was creeper. (20 bucks an ounce for killer weed, for you youngsters).

Kim was a mutual friend who lived on the river near the island and had a rowboat, so we borrowed it and headed across. Sleeping bags, wine, weed, fried chicken (thanks mom), munchies...we were good to go. It was cold too, for Florida.

We got our "camp" set up and built a nice fire. We were B.S.'ing; I was laying back with my feet to the fire, which was hot enough that my boot soles got too hot and I had to take them off for a bit, but I didn't know that 'til my feet got really hot. It 'creeped' up on me, I guess. Haha.

(Where I lived in Florida has a relatively shallow hardpan and a water table of around two feet. That means ground sounds can often travel rather easily. This is relevant to my Halloween Story.)

After my boots cooled off, I put them back on and was laying on my belly, facing the fire and talking smack with Billy, like we always did. By this time that "creepweed" was starting to really kick in, I guess. I was fookin' STONED. I remember that.

I started thinking it, then realized that I actually was hearing, a kind of thumping noise. Soft at first, and random, but definitely there. I'm talking a minute - two minutes - THUMP - half a minute - THUMP. Three minutes - THUMPTHUMP. And on. Must have been for over half an hour.

As I'm laying on my belly talking to Billy, I can hear/feel these thumps. Barely, but there's no doubt in my mind they were there. My chest felt them. I remember this like it was yesterday. I can feel it in the ground I'm laying on. My stoned mind was in overdrive by now. We were carrying on as usual, Billy and I. But in my buzzed state, I was gettin' a little nervous. After all, it WAS Halloween Night!

Then Billy's eyes got really, REALLY wide. Suddenly he shot up on his hands and said "LOOK OUT FOR THAT DOG!" All freaked out like.

I jumped up, turned and saw a huge dog about 6 feet tall at the head, with large pointed ears, directly facing me about ten feet away. I started scrambling backwards, belly up on hands and feets, to get outta Dodge and tripped over myself and almost fell in the fire, when I realized that it was just a tree stump in perfect lighting for the illusion, and ask-hole Billy was rolling on his side laughing at my stoned ass.

I chased him around that island until we were both out of breath, the bastage. That was some really good smoke!

Happy Halloween, Folks! Be Safe!

Billy died at 42 years of age playing a game of pick-up basketball in Queens NY, where he was born. Dude wasn't very tall, but he loved him some basketball and he was rather athletic. RIP Billy, you trickster sumbeech.
 

Carburetor​

Wife: “There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor.”
Husband: “Water in the carburetor? That’s ridiculous.”
Wife: “I tell you the car has water in the carburetor.”
Husband: “You don’t even know what a carburetor is. Where’s the car?”
Wife: “In the swimming pool.”
Seems like every winter in St. Pete and Clearwater some old geezer in a condo drives into a swimming pool.
Always due to 'failed brakes', don't ya' know.
 
I just see a video not available box.
Meh. You ain't missin' nothin' dogster.

Unless'n you like a gorgeous full moon you could bounce a quarter off of, meaty thighs and a nice, smooth back doin' a workout - from a hind-view.

Like I said...you-o-o-o-o ain-n-n-n-n't mi-i-i-i-s-s-s-i-i-i-n' noth-th-th-th-thin'.

Phew. <gasp> Much. ;)

Got a cigarette?
 

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