At least a padlocked butt plug for sure.........?
The Original Old Farts Club
- Thread starter yooper420
- Start date
At least a padlocked butt plug for sure.........?
R
ROSTERMAN
Guest
Butt what fun would Hops have then?
R
ROSTERMAN
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Neighbors across the street starting moving out yesterday. I imagine they'll finish up this afternoon. Old Hen went out to do some flowerbed stuff but quickly changed her mind. Beans are really dusty when being harvested.
Deer are going through around 15 pounds of corn per day. They must be expecting a cold winter. There's usually five or six munching on the feeder, but I've seen up to ten at a whack.
Deer are going through around 15 pounds of corn per day. They must be expecting a cold winter. There's usually five or six munching on the feeder, but I've seen up to ten at a whack.
Unca Walt
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I just gotta share this -- Perfect Old Farts Club input
Elderly Banking... ..............PRICELESS!
Shown below is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 82-year-old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times.
Dear Sir:
I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it.
I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years.
You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.
My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters, --- when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.
From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person.
My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.
Be aware that it is an OFFENSE under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope.
Please find attached an Application Contact which I require your chosen employee to complete.
I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative.
Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.
In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.
I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service.
As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Let me level the playing field even further.
When you call me, press buttons as follows:
IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH
#1. To make an appointment to see me.
#2. To query a missing payment.
#3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
#4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
#5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
#6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
#7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.
#8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7 again
#9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.
#10. This is a second reminder to press* for English.
While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.
Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.
May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?
Your Humble Client
And remember: Don't make old people mad. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to piss us off.
Elderly Banking... ..............PRICELESS!
Shown below is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 82-year-old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times.
Dear Sir:
I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it.
I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years.
You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.
My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters, --- when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.
From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person.
My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.
Be aware that it is an OFFENSE under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope.
Please find attached an Application Contact which I require your chosen employee to complete.
I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative.
Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.
In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.
I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service.
As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Let me level the playing field even further.
When you call me, press buttons as follows:
IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH
#1. To make an appointment to see me.
#2. To query a missing payment.
#3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
#4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
#5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
#6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
#7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.
#8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7 again
#9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.
#10. This is a second reminder to press* for English.
While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.
Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.
May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?
Your Humble Client
And remember: Don't make old people mad. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to piss us off.
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Afternoon gang. I just finished tilling and putting the veggie garden to bed for the winter. What a relief ....... no more outside gardening until next spring. I still have to pull all the flowers and wash the pots. Now it is the fricken leaves.....they are falling like rain. Leaf and flower mitigation should be done in the next couple of week. I actually look forward to the winter months......I get a bit of a break or slow down at the least.
Going in for a hair cut in a couple of hours....starts to bug me after it gets so long.
Storm moving into the area as I type. Should just be a cool down and scattered showers. Looking like a nice night to sit close to the fire.
@ Walt....above and beyond everything you just said about our wonderful banking system....just wait until the have to start tracking every transaction over $600......they will probably start charging for that as well.
I have a present for my bank....
Going in for a hair cut in a couple of hours....starts to bug me after it gets so long.
Storm moving into the area as I type. Should just be a cool down and scattered showers. Looking like a nice night to sit close to the fire.
@ Walt....above and beyond everything you just said about our wonderful banking system....just wait until the have to start tracking every transaction over $600......they will probably start charging for that as well.
I have a present for my bank....
What are those flaps? Have we a resident butte pluug expert? I'm at the extent of my butte plug knowledge. Oh wait, I get it, install, "open it up" (that can't be healthy) so it's unremovable, lock it and pocket the key.
What a world you have to lock up the stink hole!
Wait a minute, I hope the owner doesn't lose the key. Imagine the "upcharge" a lock smith would require to remove it from such a location.
All good for the compost pile
Weirdscenes
Well-Known Member
Who is that guy who used to do reverse engineering for the Chinese again?
maybe he could help out ?
It certainly looks like it would do the job!
It doesn't take wildlife long to figure out where the soft touches live. I'll bet a trail camera would reveal way more than deer at the feeder.
That such a device actually exists is telling.......................
R
ROSTERMAN
Guest
Someone just does not get it.
Weirdscenes
Well-Known Member
They are against smokers, tokers, and midnight pokers.
R
ROSTERMAN
Guest
Not your computer mine is doing it too the past 2 days its the sitemy computer is acting up. I may have to go off line. It keep jumping to an error screen. What's cooking?
Weirdscenes
Well-Known Member
Weirdscenes
Well-Known Member
Wots the ice for?Morning OFC, enjoying a cup of coffee and a bowl of ice. Beautiful fall morning here.
OH, I thought maybe I had to get it serviced.
