The Original Old Farts Club

[pute]

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

 

[Bubba]

I'm gonna blame #5 on my monitor, but I've got to admit that you're a very hansom man.

What? Clear as a bell 45.

Bubba

 

[user 60606]

 

[pute]

Zzzzzzzzzzzz

 

[Unca Walt]

That's absolutely fine - lets agree to disagree and allow time to run its course and show us

You can say that again! That don't mean you haveta repeat it! [/Stanilaus Koslovky -- Stalag 17's "Animal"]

 

[Unca Walt]

This can give you nightmares:

https://www.goldismoney2.com/attachments/lively-tits-gif.232122/

 

[Tattered Old Graywolf]

^^^Funny but true story: My big brother's frat brother got the call to head to Detroit for his induction physical. The bus pulls up, and some DI starts screaming at them to get off the bus and run, run, run. Bob looks at the dude and tells him to FO. DI screams even louder. Again, FO, I'm not in your stinkin' army yet, fool. Besides, you can't take me, I'm color blind. The DI smiles and in a quiet voice says, "Son, we've been looking for you." Turns out that color blind folks went to the head of the class. They needed 'em for counter sniper duty. Normal folks see a green tree. Color blind folks see a gray tree with a big black blob in it. The blob is your target.

A less funny story is that based on my test scores, the USMC recruiter told me I could be anything I wanted in the crouch, so I signed up to be a pilot, only to have them discover at my third physical at MCRD that I was red green color blind, so couldn't be a military pilot and was assigned to infantry.

 

[ROSTERMAN]

A less funny story is that based on my test scores, they USMC recruiter told me I could be anything I wanted in the crouch, so I signed up to be a pilot, only to have them discover at my third physical at MCRD that I was red green color blind, so couldn't be a pilot and was assigned to infantry.

They did the same with me The Navy wanted me to drive the Subs.

 

[Unca Walt]

 

[ROSTERMAN]

View attachment 282245

 

[pute]

Morning OFC. Happy Shatterday! Football today. I deserve a day off...no garden....no yard...no honey do's. Probably no place to sleep when I tell this to Mrs Pute.

 

[Unca Walt]

View attachment 282248

That done gimme a headache for a whole HOUR.

 

[Bubba]

A less funny story is that based on my test scores, the USMC recruiter told me I could be anything I wanted in the crouch, so I signed up to be a pilot, only to have them discover at my third physical at MCRD that I was red green color blind, so couldn't be a military pilot and was assigned to infantry.

Number 5, right?

Bubba

 

[Hippie420]

What? Clear as a bell 45.

Bubba

That was #3, stud muffins.

 

[Bubba]

You didn't see the 45 on #5? Not that there's anything "wrong" with that?

Bubba

 

[Hippie420]

Thank God for hash! I'd beat myself up getting stuff ready for winter and my back was screaming. Took my bride to our Friday drinks and laughs place. Half a beer in, I'm ready to puke from extrema back pain. Old Hen had already downed her first and was working on the second before I finished #1. Got half of #2 down, and the pain eased up a bit, enough to get a short #3.
Went home, cuddled up in bed, thought seriously about eating a few opioids, but grabbed the hash pipe instead. Good choice! Back pain was gone enough I could enjoy the rest of the evening.

 

[Hippie420]

You didn't see the 45 on #5? Not that there's anything "wrong" with that?

Bubba

There's a gay dude in the OFC. Gimmie a kiss and I'll tell ya who.....

 

[Bubba]

We all know about Roster.

 

[boo]

you guys have issues with gays...

 

[WeedHopper]

Only if they are behind me in line.