The Original Old Farts Club

[NewbOldster]

Different strokes for different folks. I have them eating out of my hands. I when I was young I used to shoot everything in sight. Not anymore!

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I do most of my own automobile work, and they've cost me over a grand just for wiring harness pigtails and vacuum hoses and what not on my vehicles over the last several years. Actually...ever since they stoled my woods.
Their cousins The Chipmunks burrowed under my front stoop so much it finally collapsed and cost me $1400.00 for a new pour.

I have no love for rodents. Yeah, they're 'cute'. But they can shell a black walnut with their teeth. To me, it's not about killing anything that moves - I shot a red winged blackbird when I was about 13, and ran over to watch it slowly die. It hurt me inside to know that I had done that to an animal that had caused me no harm or threat, even at that young age.

Unless I was eating it, I've never killed another animal since that day.

Except rodents.

P.S. Don't feed them yellow peanut M&M's. They'll mistake your thumb for it and bite you. Don't ask how my dumb 6 or 7 year old self learned that at Busch Gardens in the early '60's.

 

[NewbOldster]

How the fk did they cut that little aspirin up into 3 pieces.

I would NOT recommend a handheld double-edged razor blade for that job. Just a thought.

 

[pute]

I would NOT recommend a handheld double-edged razor blade for that job. Just a thought.

Ya think.....

I do most of my own automobile work, and they've cost me over a grand just for wiring harness pigtails and vacuum hoses and what not on my vehicles over the last several years. Actually...ever since they stoled my woods.
Their cousins The Chipmunks burrowed under my front stoop so much it finally collapsed and cost me $1400.00 for a new pour.

I have no love for rodents. Yeah, they're 'cute'. But they can shell a black walnut with their teeth. To me, it's not about killing anything that moves - I shot a red winged blackbird when I was about 13, and ran over to watch it slowly die. It hurt me inside to know that I had done that to an animal that had caused me no harm or threat, even at that young age.

Unless I was eating it, I've never killed another animal since that day.

Except rodents.

P.S. Don't feed them yellow peanut M&M's. They'll mistake your thumb for it and bite you. Don't ask how my dumb 6 or 7 year old self learned that at Busch Gardens in the early '60's.

Been feeding them for years and have never been bit. Ya gotta be careful....my finger looks just like a peanut. Just another thing for this o'l man to do. Like I said all this self amusement keeps me out of the bar.

Growing is the main attraction though.

 

[pute]

At least I don't play with snakes like Walt does.

 

[NewbOldster]

Like I said I use a pill cutter. Here is mine. Works perfect.

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I'm extremely thankful that I need neither a pill cutter nor a pill box, thus far in my life.

My dear wife, otoh, has both. I think she takes 9 pills per day now. The second one to counteract the side effects of the first one to counteract the ninth one that keeps her heart pumping, if you get my drift. Then there's her insulin pump and all that. She's married to me on top of all that! If you pray...pray for her, please. Poor girl.

 

[NewbOldster]

At least I don't play with snakes like Walt does.

It took me being bitten twice by rat snakes to quit chasing them around when I was a kid. They draw blood! lol

 

[Hippie420]

I do most of my own automobile work, and they've cost me over a grand just for wiring harness pigtails and vacuum hoses and what not on my vehicles over the last several years. Actually...ever since they stoled my woods.
Their cousins The Chipmunks burrowed under my front stoop so much it finally collapsed and cost me $1400.00 for a new pour.

I have no love for rodents. Yeah, they're 'cute'. But they can shell a black walnut with their teeth. To me, it's not about killing anything that moves - I shot a red winged blackbird when I was about 13, and ran over to watch it slowly die. It hurt me inside to know that I had done that to an animal that had caused me no harm or threat, even at that young age.

Unless I was eating it, I've never killed another animal since that day.

Except rodents.

P.S. Don't feed them yellow peanut M&M's. They'll mistake your thumb for it and bite you. Don't ask how my dumb 6 or 7 year old self learned that at Busch Gardens in the early '60's.

Back when I was a teenager, I drove out to Flushing park to burn one and enjoy the sunny day. There was this kid that couldn't have been more than six or seven years old that was sitting at a picnic table feeding a fox squirrel part of his PBJ sandwich. The squirrel was enjoying the feast until the kid used his free hand to pet him. That squirrel jumped on his arm and bit him all the way up that arm, across his shoulders, and bit him all the way down the other one. The kid was screaming like a skinned Comanche. I'd just copped a buzz and couldn't stop laughing (ya had to be there). His mama came over and squared him away, so I didn't feel too bad. Little fella learned a valuable lesson that day.

 

[user 60606]

Different strokes for different folks. I have them eating out of my hands. I when I was young I used to shoot everything in sight. Not anymore!

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pute, I used to till I encountered grand parent's damaged house attic wiring and later on found that if you see them scratching themselves, they usually are carrying fleas ...

I used to anyway ..

 

[NewbOldster]

Back when I was a teenager, I drove out to Flushing park to burn one and enjoy the sunny day. There was this kid that couldn't have been more than six or seven years old that was sitting at a picnic table feeding a fox squirrel part of his PBJ sandwich. The squirrel was enjoying the feast until the kid used his free hand to pet him. That squirrel jumped on his arm and bit him all the way up that arm, across his shoulders, and bit him all the way down the other one. The kid was screaming like a skinned Comanche. I'd just copped a buzz and couldn't stop laughing (ya had to be there). His mama came over and squared him away, so I didn't feel too bad. Little fella learned a valuable lesson that day.

 

[NewbOldster]

Back when I was a teenager, I drove out to Flushing park to burn one and enjoy the sunny day. There was this kid that couldn't have been more than six or seven years old that was sitting at a picnic table feeding a fox squirrel part of his PBJ sandwich. The squirrel was enjoying the feast until the kid used his free hand to pet him. That squirrel jumped on his arm and bit him all the way up that arm, across his shoulders, and bit him all the way down the other one. The kid was screaming like a skinned Comanche. I'd just copped a buzz and couldn't stop laughing (ya had to be there). His mama came over and squared him away, so I didn't feel too bad. Little fella learned a valuable lesson that day.

I watch them bastids climb at breakneck speed all over trees and buildings and freaking power lines and jump and fall unharmed from ridiculous heights and crack open walnuts with their teeth and I wonder; could they hurt me?

 

[pute]

If I were you guys I would stay away from all squirrels..... dangerous..... especially when you are stupid. enough to try and pick one up. Ha ha!

 

[pute]

Like Any wild animal common since applies.

 

[dogster]

Like Any wild animal common since applies.

There will be none of that.

 

[Hippie420]

I wanted to take a college course on common sense. There was no professors qualified to teach it.

 

[giggy]

I like my squirrels fried.

 

[pute]

I like my squirrels fried.

So did I with eggs biscuits and gravy. Tell that to Mrs pute!

 

[pute]

You buy next time......ha ha!

 

[Unca Walt]

whatever Unca does he does it with much gusto!


the epitome of one tough sumbitch!



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hey Unca , is that your butterfly collection on the wall?


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Jeeebus. My memory must be going... Where the hell did you get the pic of Young Unca??? Clearly, I musta sent it to you. Musta been when we first met and you gifted me weed. Back when that pic was tooken, my beard was red.

The butterflies are my artwork, made from Fancy Pants' and Beau's castoff feathers. I just made three more this week for my neighbors.

Oh, heck. Herself just walked in and looked over my shoulder... She has something to say. She says I have to type it as she says it:

"That picture I took shows this important thing about Walt. He is huge, funny, and made of something hard. Cover his face below his eyes. Scary, isn't he."

Oh fer chrissake. This is embarrassing, but I gotta make it to Halloween.

 

[Tattered Old Graywolf]

Goooode mawning ya'll! Hoping this finds everyone smiling ear to ear like a possum eating sweet taters!

 

[Tattered Old Graywolf]

We had a squirrel fall down our chimmney once, but was stopped by the damper. I could hear it scratching, so I opened the damper and closed the glass doors until it dropped down into the fireplace.

Fortunately, I was able to throw a towel over it and extract it without getting bit.