The Original Old Farts Club

[user 60606]

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

 

[user 60606]

Question: Why do Jewish men get circumcised?


Answer: Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's 20% off.

 

[user 60606]

 

[user 60606]

 

[user 60606]

 

[user 60606]

 

[user 60606]

 

[user 60606]

 

[NewbOldster]

I was walking through the park the other day, and from behind a hedgerow appeared the most beautiful, sexiest dad-gummed woman I'd ever seen. Every man's dream date, she was!

Our eyes met. Instantly, a flash of electricity flew between us, and next thing I know, we're on the grass making mad, passionate love in the warm sunshine.

It was at that blissful moment that I knew the 70 bucks I spent on the taser was money well spent!

 

[Unca Walt]

I have a new doctor. I fired the last one for pushing the *** to the point of being ridiculous.

Good. Obviously, that doctor shoulda been a waiter.

 

[Unca Walt]

You guys were talkin' car jack boo-boos... A GI buddy of mine was working on his car when the idjit-rig he had for jacking it up sorta just shifted over.

He was pinned splay-footed in a "seated" position with his face in the dirt between his knees.

I had seen it actually happening, so I was using his half-busted jack as quick as I could to get the car up enough to pull him out. I couldn't believe how fargin limber he was. Din' even get really hurt at all. Woulda squooshed me.

 

[SubmarineGirl]

You guys were talkin' car jack boo-boos... A GI buddy of mine was working on his car when the idjit-rig he had for jacking it up sorta just shifted over.

He was pinned splay-footed in a "seated" position with his face in the dirt between his knees.

I had seen it actually happening, so I was using his half-busted jack as quick as I could to get the car up enough to pull him out. I couldn't believe how fargin limber he was. Din' even get really hurt at all. Woulda squooshed me.

Maybe it was this guy…

 

[NewbOldster]

Maybe it was this guy…
View attachment 340346

I could do that!

When I was 7.

 

[Hippie420]

I did that years ago when I tripped on a curb leaving the bar.

 

[user 60606]

late 70s lost a brother in law when the bumper jack on his band's van gave way .. he was the drummer, ..

Lionel the drummer .. played the Conway Tweety stuff

 

[Unca Walt]

Maybe it was this guy…
View attachment 340346

There's an old picture of me as a little kid doing exactly that.

And then, of course, I replicated that position (TINS) much, later in life when the teenage kid switched lanes speeding through the school zone and ran me and my nice red motorcycle over. My foot was behind my head. Woulda killed a human. Fortunately, I am part Klingon.

 

[RosterMan]

View attachment 340339

Did you steal this from Bigs library?

 

[Tattered Old Graywolf]

 

[WeedHopper]

Coffee girl. Oh ****,,she must have put her coffee cup down.

 

[user 60570]

Coffee girl. Oh ****,,she must have put her coffee cup down.View attachment 340372

get that weak sauce outta here