Well I read most of it, understood very little, laughed a lot.
I think I can sum up your problem for you chief, you REALLY need to get laid.
About 4 years ago I suffered from a stress breakdown, not a pretty sight, some of it I don't remember, but when the GF tells me of some of the things I did during the first few days of the breakdown I am like
I came out the other side a changed person, my mindset altered. My breadown, along with other circumstances in my life, opened my mind to many more things, and I think a greater understanding of what life is about. You along with too many other people spend you time locked in this self defeating crap, by the time you get anything figured out you will be too old to enjoy the youth you have. So let me sort this out for you, nice and easy..
Some people will take from you and never give back, these people are not friends, they are a**holes, ditch them. My circle of friends ONLY includes people who will give as well as take, people I can rely on, people I can trust. Its true I have a smaller circle of friends now than I had before, but I have quality friends, and THATS the most important thing, leave the vampires out to go feed on each other.
I also have the love of a good woman, I don't feel the need to 'play around' I get everything I need at home, and more. She is my best friend as well as my lover, we don't always get along, and we do argue, but give it a few hours to cool down and the red mist to go away and its all good again. An argument gets things out in the open, then gives you time to chill and think upon it, and then discuss it later, when we have chilled out. Get yourself a good partner, it will help you no end, I promise.
I bought myself a motorbike, a big 1200cc sports tourer, its an awesome sense of freedom, and there is NOTHING like flying down some twisty country roads, lining up the bends and sweeping through them with the bike banked over, massive grin on my face, GF on the back, I could do it all day long. Not saying that this will help you, but it helped me imensly, my life to a massive change for the better when I got my bike, a VERY noticible change, many friends and family have commented on it.
I think about life in a new way, life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "Holy sh*t...what a ride!
Forget the crap dude, go out and enjoy life, before its too late.
then again what the hell do I know, I am a pot smoking biker, I just spend most of my time laughing and grinning now.