The Original Old Farts Club

[guerilla1950]

evening men very nice is that your girl big sur 51

 

[ROSTERMAN]

evening men very nice is that your girl big sur 51

No his Big girl is @Shiloh

 

[user 60606]

why does big always get Shiloh

 

[Hippie420]

why does big always get Shiloh

Women want him, and men want to be him.

 

[ROSTERMAN]

why does big always get Shiloh

nO ONE ELSE IS WILLING ? HECK i DONT KNOW

 

[Unca Walt]

I've got some trees on the ranch that I call zombie trees. I can cut them off flush with the ground, paint the stumps with used motor oil or straight Roundup, and within a couple years, they're back.

Hippie -- In South Floriduh there are weirdo<-- W-T-F?? "weird-o" is verboten?? things called ficus trees. You probably have seen one in a hotel lobby... these horrors are commonly grown in pots, and sometimes tortured into braids:

BEWARE!! If the sumbitch gits outa the pot... I had a renegade one growing next to my house. The roots grow along the top of the ground.

So I cut the tree down. Within a week, there were new sprouts on the stump. So I got a 1" spreader drill and drilled over a hundred holes about 6" apart in the exposed root system. Filled each hole with gasoline. Right to the top. Drilled holes all around the top edge of the stump and filled them with gasoline.

Used the axe and chopped up some root parts that were too thin for real drilling.

A year later, I had to have a bulldozer come in and remove the damn' thing, since it had come roaring back to life... It filled a dump truck.

 

[Unca Walt]

Moar coffee


View attachment 276914

Hey... that's my sister, Judy. I hate that she has skin-ink, but she doesn't look too bad for 84.

 

[Unca Walt]

nO ONE ELSE IS WILLING ? HECK i DONT KNOW
View attachment 276953

What I wanna know is what kind of kinky *** are you referring to when you say you really like to "perfer" him?

LATE EDIT: My Gawd!!! Do we have a perfert here????

 

[ROSTERMAN]

What I wanna know is what kind of kinky *** are you referring to when you say you really like to "perfer" him?

LATE EDIT: My Gawd!!! Do we have a perfert here????

I did the e to an a switch sorry my mind can not distinguish the 2.

 

[ROSTERMAN]

I did the e to an a switch sorry my mind can not distinguish the 2.

If you ever see a where an e should be
That's my Tell

 

[Unca Walt]

I did the e to an a switch sorry my mind can not distinguish the 2.

Never let that bother you. If anything, it gives you some great accidental one-liners.

LATE EDIT ADD: Oddly, I am on the other end of that spectrum, and it carries its own unique problems. A short history: In school, the only foreign language I ever studied was English. No Frog/****/Latin/yada.

Joined the military, and for some reason they gave about 400 of us a test. It was a paper with 200 words in Kurdish on it with English definitions. We were given 20 minutes to read all the words and definitions, and then they took away the papers and gave us papers with the words all rearranged and no English definitions/translations.

We were told to write down as many as we could figure out/remember. I think I peed myself a little that weird, strange, eye-opening day... I got 182 of the words defined right!

It is NOT an IQ thing. It is just a weird characteristic, like being able to tap your feet to a different rhythm than your hands. (I cannot do dat.) The part where it gets weird is that this test took place far more than a half-century ago... TINS

...and I still remember many of the Kurdish words and their English translations even though I have never been exposed to them since that 20-minute window so many fargin decades ago.

Lessee: "some" = "hindek" "woman" = "jin" "dog" = "kuti" <-- I remember snickering over that one at the time. (cootie)

blood = zux
snake = mar <-- not to be confused with "dar" (tree) or "xar" (tongue)
wing = bal
heart = dil

Crikey... THERE IT IS! <-- The more words I try to remember seeing that day... the more words I can easily remember now -- that I have not thought of in longer than many of youse guys have been alive.

So how can this be a problem? I will use words that are utterly plain/mundane to me that have other people looking up definitions. It can be embarrassing if folks think I am putting them on.

So it sorta is the flip side of you, Rosty. I can -- unknowingly -- clutter up a sentence with words that are correct... but not commonly used by others, leading to a distraction from what I was trying to communicate

 

[ROSTERMAN]

Thanks Walt, my Brain is never going to be completely healed
So they tell me

 

[yooper420]

Good morning my old fart brethren, how ya'll be today ? "Wake 'n bake" time. Puffin'n Passin' time.

 

[ROSTERMAN]

Good morning my old fart brethren, how ya'll be today ? "Wake 'n bake" time. Puffin'n Passin' time.

 

[Unca Walt]

LATE LATE ADD TO THE ABOVE: I just remembered the real word for Kurdish: Kurmanji

Sounds like a fargin board game, donnit?

 

[ROSTERMAN]

LATE LATE ADD TO THE ABOVE: I just remembered the real word for Kurdish: Kurmanji

Sounds like a fargin board game, donnit?

 

[Unca Walt]

Rosty: Mebbe you have trouble with a coupla letters, not being able to tell them apart...

Yer Unca has too many fargin letters available. So I write books to let a few toads out of the sack. <-- that's a reference to being "horny as a sackful of toads". (See? I am not sure that there horny toad connection would be plain to everyone, now that I look back at it.)

And lemme tellya: The only possible benefit to having learned to read and speak Mandarin Chinese is that when they take over, I can open an American Hand Laundry. There sure as heck ain't no money in it otherwise. Not one fargin "cash". That, no foolin', is the actual word describing a basic money coin:

<-- A cash from about 960 AD

See? How can anyone NOT know that "cash" originated in China? Why am I always stuck with these trivial bits that just come floating up at me? Oh well, works fer me.

And nobody here has bought whole skids of any of my novels. Cheap bastages. Shitdamnhellpissfartpoop.

 

[user 60570]

evening men very nice is that your girl big sur 51

no...why do you ask?

 

[user 60570]

Rosty: Mebbe you have trouble with a coupla letters, not being able to tell them apart...

Yer Unca has too many fargin letters available. So I write books to let a few toads out of the sack. <-- that's a reference to being "horny as a sackful of toads". (See? I am not sure that there horny toad connection would be plain to everyone, now that I look back at it.)

And lemme tellya: The only possible benefit to having learned to read and speak Mandarin Chinese is that when they take over, I can open an American Hand Laundry. There sure as heck ain't no money in it otherwise. Not one fargin "cash". That, no foolin', is the actual word describing a basic money coin:

View attachment 276958 <-- A cash from about 960 AD

See? How can anyone NOT know that "cash" originated in China? Why am I always stuck with these trivial bits that just come floating up at me? Oh well, works fer me.

And nobody here has bought whole skids of any of my novels. Cheap bastages. Shitdamnhellpissfartpoop.

I have a little bit of collateral tied up in a few novels...

 

[Unca Walt]

I have a little bit of collateral tied up in a few novels...

One of my fave readers!