The Original Old Farts Club
- Thread starter yooper420
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Unca Walt
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Gotta say it: 79F Blue Sky. Still air.
My wildies are getting more used to me. Had a Bluejay take a peanut from my fingles this moanin'.
Unca Walt
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"...And it gets thicker during a full moon."
We have Scrub Jays that will take peanuts from my hand on the fly, or land just short, hop over, grab it, and be gone in a flash.
And softer to the touch.
Why the long face Walt?
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I have the furnace set at 65 over night. 70 during the day....up to 4 outside currently!
Unca Walt
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A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says...
Wait! Wait!! I kin do better.
I was in a night club last week and this beautiful girl came over to me.
She patted me on my bald head and asked me, “Is it true what they say about bald men making better lovers?”
I said, “I’ve no idea; I’ve never slept with one.”
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Morning everybody, 63° right now but gonna drop over the day. I think mid 30's tonight.
NewbOldster
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My baby sister (RIP) was a very jovial, rotund young lady. A joy to be around, she was the life of every party. Had a wicked sense of humor, and just loved a good joke. Everybody loved her.
She had an equally entertaining best friend of similar physical stature. Picture the potential hilarity when those two went grocery shopping and started speaking "Ong" as they shopped, stoned, in the store aisles.
I'll set it up; "Ong" is where you take a word, and turn the consonant into "Ong" and you speak the vowel as it sounds.
Example; my name is Bob - in the "Ong Language", that would be literally stated Bong O Bong. Bill would be Bong I Long Long. "Stoned" would come out as Song Tong O Nong E Dong. "Weed" = Wong E E Dong. And so on. Say it fast.
If one practices, one can speak the language quite fluently, and it sounds like legitimate linguistic communication. Those two did so very well.
Can you imagine walking through the grocery store and seeing two fat chicks walking around while speaking this unidentifiable language rapid-fire, while they were simultaneously laughing themselves to actual tears at the odd looks and reactions they were getting from the other shoppers? I would literally laugh 'til I thought I'd wet my britches watching them (while stoned) do it in her living room - it was just silliness, but they were so good at it together that you could. not. help. laughing at them when they were 'on a roll'.
"DongIDong YongOU SongEE TongHongATong KongIDong'Song FACongE? FongUNongNongYong!
God, I miss that kid.
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NewbOldster
Well-Known Member
Bluejay's are my favorite birds! They're absolutely gorgeous, and raucous, and arrogant, and when a bunch of them are in my trees hollerin' I'll always make my way outside just to enjoy their racket!
Attachments
There is a great joke in there
But I am not touching it
NewbOldster
Well-Known Member
YUCK!
NewbOldster
Well-Known Member
An amnesiac walks into a bar. He goes up to a beautiful girl and asks "So, do I come here often?"
Ever watch them lure a cat up to the top of a tree?
They get the cat up there by having one bird pretend to be injured and as the cat climbs after it the bird hops up a little higher at a time until it to the top.
Then the gang swoops in an attacks, I use to watch them try to kill my sister's cat, Time for my bb gun to come out.
Nasty birds but smart.
Now he stops touching it ...
I love blue jays too but my old fat cat fritz would go out in the middle of the yard and wait for them to swoop down catching one and eating it often.
NewbOldster
Well-Known Member
Go ahead. You know ya' wanna. ;-)
