The Original Old Farts Club

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Even though I've grown mostly bald, I still keep my comb.

I just can't part with it.
Shave your head brother Walt. Then you can be sexy like me and Kojak.😁😎
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It pays to be a wolf! I continue to shed lots of hair in my hairbrush, leaving me to ponder why I still have thick hair instead of going bald. Indeed if anything I've grown hairier, counting the hair on my back, neck, and spilling out of my nose and ears.
"...And it gets thicker during a full moon."
 
Gotta say it: 79F Blue Sky. Still air.

My wildies are getting more used to me. Had a Bluejay take a peanut from my fingles this moanin'.
We have Scrub Jays that will take peanuts from my hand on the fly, or land just short, hop over, grab it, and be gone in a flash.
"...And it gets thicker during a full moon."
And softer to the touch.
 
Why the long face Walt?
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says...

Wait! Wait!! I kin do better.

I was in a night club last week and this beautiful girl came over to me.

She patted me on my bald head and asked me, “Is it true what they say about bald men making better lovers?”

I said, “I’ve no idea; I’ve never slept with one.”
 
Easy for you to say...................
My baby sister (RIP) was a very jovial, rotund young lady. A joy to be around, she was the life of every party. Had a wicked sense of humor, and just loved a good joke. Everybody loved her.

She had an equally entertaining best friend of similar physical stature. Picture the potential hilarity when those two went grocery shopping and started speaking "Ong" as they shopped, stoned, in the store aisles.

I'll set it up; "Ong" is where you take a word, and turn the consonant into "Ong" and you speak the vowel as it sounds.
Example; my name is Bob - in the "Ong Language", that would be literally stated Bong O Bong. Bill would be Bong I Long Long. "Stoned" would come out as Song Tong O Nong E Dong. "Weed" = Wong E E Dong. And so on. Say it fast.

If one practices, one can speak the language quite fluently, and it sounds like legitimate linguistic communication. Those two did so very well.

Can you imagine walking through the grocery store and seeing two fat chicks walking around while speaking this unidentifiable language rapid-fire, while they were simultaneously laughing themselves to actual tears at the odd looks and reactions they were getting from the other shoppers? I would literally laugh 'til I thought I'd wet my britches watching them (while stoned) do it in her living room - it was just silliness, but they were so good at it together that you could. not. help. laughing at them when they were 'on a roll'.

"DongIDong YongOU SongEE TongHongATong KongIDong'Song FACongE? FongUNongNongYong!

God, I miss that kid. 😢🥰
 
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Gotta say it: 79F Blue Sky. Still air.

My wildies are getting more used to me. Had a Bluejay take a peanut from my fingles this moanin'.
Bluejay's are my favorite birds! They're absolutely gorgeous, and raucous, and arrogant, and when a bunch of them are in my trees hollerin' I'll always make my way outside just to enjoy their racket!
 

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Bluejay's are my favorite birds! They're absolutely gorgeous, and raucous, and arrogant, and when a bunch of them are in my trees hollerin' I'll always make my way outside just to enjoy their racket!
Ever watch them lure a cat up to the top of a tree?
They get the cat up there by having one bird pretend to be injured and as the cat climbs after it the bird hops up a little higher at a time until it to the top.
Then the gang swoops in an attacks, I use to watch them try to kill my sister's cat, Time for my bb gun to come out.
Nasty birds but smart.
 
Ever watch them lure a cat up to the top of a tree?
They get the cat up there by having one bird pretend to be injured and as the cat climbs after it the bird hops up a little higher at a time until it to the top.
Then the gang swoops in an attacks, I use to watch them try to kill my sister's cat, Time for my bb gun to come out.
Nasty birds but smart.
I love blue jays too but my old fat cat fritz would go out in the middle of the yard and wait for them to swoop down catching one and eating it often.
 

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