The Original Old Farts Club
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NewbOldster
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Good luck, giggy.
NewbOldster
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Monday: 5:00PM. It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first one we've seen in years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rums and sat by the picture window, watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was beautiful. So relaxing and peaceful.
Tuesday: We woke up to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it! I did both our driveway and our sidewalk. Later a city snowplow came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and shoveled it again.
Wednesday: It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature dropped to around 11 degrees. Several limbs on the trees snapped due to weight of the snow. I shoveled our driveway again. Shortly afterwards the snowplow came by and did his trick again. I wonder about that guy. Why's he always smiling?
Thursday: Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which turned to ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tires for both cars. Fell on my ass in the driveway. $145 for the emergency room visit but nothing was broken. More snow and ice expected.
Friday: Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought a 4X4 in order to get her to work. Slid into a guardrail and did a considerable amount of damage to the right rear quarter panel. Had another 8 inches of white shit last night. Both vehicles covered in salt and crud. More shoveling in store for me today. That goddamn snowplow came by twice today, smiling bastard.
Saturday: 2 degrees outside. More ******* snow. Not a tree or shrub on the property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night and some pipes burst in the basement. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater which tipped over and nearly burned the house down. I managed to put out the flames but suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands and lost my eyebrows. Brand new 4X4 slid on the ice on way to the emergency room and was totaled.
Sunday: Goddamn mother-fuckin' shit keeps coming down. Have to put on all clothes we own just to get to the fuckin' mailbox. I think the son-of-a-***** that drives the snowplow hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then comes down the street about 100MPH, grinning from ear to ear, and buries our driveway again. Fuckin' *******! If I ever catch him I'll shove a cane pole up his ass and mount him in the front yard as a warning to the next snowplow driver! Power still off. Toilet froze and part of the roof has started to cave in.
Monday: Six goddamn more fuckin' inches of fuckin' snow and fuckin' ice and god knows what other kink of white fuckin' shit fell last night. Wife left me. Car won't start. I think I'm going snowblind. I can't move my toes. Haven't seen the sun in weeks. I wounded the fuckin' snowplow ******* with an ice ax but he got away. More fuckin' snow predicted. Wind chill minus 35 fuckin' degrees. I'm going back to Florida!
Tuesday: We woke up to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it! I did both our driveway and our sidewalk. Later a city snowplow came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and shoveled it again.
Wednesday: It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature dropped to around 11 degrees. Several limbs on the trees snapped due to weight of the snow. I shoveled our driveway again. Shortly afterwards the snowplow came by and did his trick again. I wonder about that guy. Why's he always smiling?
Thursday: Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which turned to ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tires for both cars. Fell on my ass in the driveway. $145 for the emergency room visit but nothing was broken. More snow and ice expected.
Friday: Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought a 4X4 in order to get her to work. Slid into a guardrail and did a considerable amount of damage to the right rear quarter panel. Had another 8 inches of white shit last night. Both vehicles covered in salt and crud. More shoveling in store for me today. That goddamn snowplow came by twice today, smiling bastard.
Saturday: 2 degrees outside. More ******* snow. Not a tree or shrub on the property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night and some pipes burst in the basement. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater which tipped over and nearly burned the house down. I managed to put out the flames but suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands and lost my eyebrows. Brand new 4X4 slid on the ice on way to the emergency room and was totaled.
Sunday: Goddamn mother-fuckin' shit keeps coming down. Have to put on all clothes we own just to get to the fuckin' mailbox. I think the son-of-a-***** that drives the snowplow hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then comes down the street about 100MPH, grinning from ear to ear, and buries our driveway again. Fuckin' *******! If I ever catch him I'll shove a cane pole up his ass and mount him in the front yard as a warning to the next snowplow driver! Power still off. Toilet froze and part of the roof has started to cave in.
Monday: Six goddamn more fuckin' inches of fuckin' snow and fuckin' ice and god knows what other kink of white fuckin' shit fell last night. Wife left me. Car won't start. I think I'm going snowblind. I can't move my toes. Haven't seen the sun in weeks. I wounded the fuckin' snowplow ******* with an ice ax but he got away. More fuckin' snow predicted. Wind chill minus 35 fuckin' degrees. I'm going back to Florida!
user 60606
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Mine
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That story sounds like it was taken straight from a "Pure Michigan" brochure.
NewbOldster
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I spent an early Spring through late Fall in the UP once in my younger years.That story sounds like it was taken straight from a "Pure Michigan" brochure.
It never did get hot there. Ponds were in the upper 60 degree range. Not like swimming in the Gulf. lol
What gorgeous country, though! Lake Superior whipped up during a wind is a sight to behold, too.
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In the hottest summer weather, you can walk up to the shores of Superior and walk in to ankle deep water, and your toes will instantly cramp up. Black flies will eatcha alive.
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Should have added that the warmest of the Great Lakes is Huron. It gets warm as bathwater. Well, not to Florida folks.
user 60606
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boo, do you get your pigs drunk and roll 'em
.
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Amen brother.Nope, I ain't a Yankee.
American By Birth, Southern By The Grace of God.
Unca Walt
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Hippie420 said:Nope, I ain't a Yankee.
American By Birth, Southern By The Grace of God.
I can tell you ain't a Yankee. We don't mention the "S" word. It'll hear ya and occupy your driveway.
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Well, lemme tellya, chillun, of the Great Blizzard of 1947. I remember being delighted that snow began to fall on Christmas. It was a kid's dream.
Went to bed that night very happy. In the morning, it was very cold (we had a coal furnace in the cellar that had gone out). I crept downstairs to look at my new toy steam engine... Something was wrong. Everything was so quiet.
Here comes Daddy downstairs. He opened the front door... and there was a wall of white. We were buried in. Electric power was off.
The phenomenon was a result of high winds and super heavy snowfall. It caused drifts that buried stuff. There was no traffic anywhere. Even the Long Insland Rail Road was stopped.
Here's a picture from LongIslandPress.com --
So here is Himself, looking at the threemommadinger outside right now as I type this: 79F. Gonna stay that way. YAY.
Here's the stopped train system (where, d'ya think all the commuters who HAD to get to NYC were? EEK. EEK. Try hand shoveling fifteen miles of track...)
I had the Chateau built 23 years ago. Hurricanes... meh. Not very often (despite the MSM's best hopes) and not anywhere as dangerous as daily hand-to-hand combat on the LI Expwy after they salt the road to ensure a perfectly solid white-painted windscreen on your car... renewed by them for days.
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Unca Walt
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Ernie Pyle (one of my heroes) was a war correspondent. He wrote articles during the North African campaign that were put into a book: "Here Is Your War" -- One quote:
"Some people like it rainy and cold, saying it makes for pink cheeks and green grass. Well, pink cheeks are for girls, and green grass is for cows and I prefer it good and stinking hot."
Good Fried day morning finely aged farts and fartesses! In view of the global jihad today, a good day to enjoy some quality home time and fry some surplus brain cells.
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good morning all you Cool Cats
we have having ham and eggs for jihad Friday
and some mothertrucking coffee
we have having ham and eggs for jihad Friday
and some mothertrucking coffee
joeb631a
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I am a Yankee ,American by Birth ,From the North ,by the Grace Of GodNope, I ain't a Yankee.
American By Birth, Southern By The Grace of God.
Are you sure you and Unca are not the same guy?
morning
Born in "Indian-Territory", later to relocate and metamorphosize into an "Oregon-Improved-Okie" and proud of it.I am a Yankee ,American by Birth ,From the North ,by the Grace Of God
Unca Walt
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As long as you're from it, you are on the right track.I am a Yankee ,American by Birth ,From the North ,by the Grace Of God
And while we are on the subject, I WANT ONE OF THESE SHIRTS!!!
Late Edit Add: I (amazed) that I just found where to get them with free shipping for $6.77 <-- So I bought one for Puck (#2 son) one for Wolfie (grown-up grandling) and one for me.
https://www.temu.com/goods.html?_bg..._1697198369038_6u1jaqp5pr&refer_page_sn=10037
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