Beaten, battered, and bruised

[Reverend Willis]

I got my ass kicked by a pair of roller skates today. I'm on the north side of fifty and ought to know better than doin' that crap. It has been 20 years since I skated but temptation got the best of me and I strapped those devil wheels on my feet.
I've been working with a small group of 7th and 8th graders all week at a Science & Math camp. Today was the last class so we took them to the skating rink to have some fun. All week long they've asked me, "Rev, you gonna skate Friday." "Naw," I told 'em. "The Rev is old and brittle and shouldn't do that stuff." So, when we arrived at the rink, I was one of the first in line to get my skates. Dummy.
I was awkward and geeky on the skates but kept getting a little better as time wore on. It finally happened. My feet went north and my ass went south to have a meeting with that hard floor. I was laughing so hard that my students came over to see if I was delirious as I laid flat on my back looking up at the ceiling. Several of them laid down around me, stared up at the ceiling, and laughed along with me.
Damn good time. Of course, tomorrow I'll be so sore I can't move. That's alright. I can sleep in and hopefully recover from my latest act of stupidity.

 

[LdyLunatic]

oh dear lord......i haven't heard the word roller skate in years

hope your not too too sore tomorrow

 

[THE BROTHER'S GRUNT]

Damn Rev sounds like you had yourself a good time. You might have to break out the Bengay today.

 

[Reverend Willis]

Yep, it was a good time, BG. Now is payback time. I'm sore in a couple of places I didn't know existed on my body. I'll be cruising the thrift stores today lookin' for a good deal on a walker. This is what happens when you don't exercise regularly. I'm also checkin' out burial plots in case I don't live through the day.

 

[GreenDayGirl]

well that settles it! My roller skates are going back in the closet! Heres one....catch for a 10 year old pitcher who throws damn near 50 mph and not always with the greatest accuracy

 

[Ptbo_Stonerz]

Oh Rev. you are one funny guy. Rollerskates? what are they? don't you mean rolled blades? Nah i'm just joking Rev. but wow its been a long time since even myself heard the words roller skates. Almost everytime I fall, mostly from not paying attention, I discover parts of my body hurt that I didnt know existed either, Im an extreame snowboarder, so I fall alot. A few joints in the morning should help with the pain somewhat. Hope your feeling better soon Rev.

 

[rasta]

hey rev no act of stupidity,,,nice to see people like your self spending time with the kids ,,so many craze's out there looking to hurt them ,,but yes you will be a hurting unit in the morning ,I'll pray for your speedy recovery ,BE WELL REV,,,RASTA

 

[Reverend Willis]

Oh Rev. you are one funny guy. Rollerskates? what are they? don't you mean rolled blades? Nah i'm just joking Rev. but wow its been a long time since even myself heard the words roller skates. Almost everytime I fall, mostly from not paying attention, I discover parts of my body hurt that I didnt know existed either, Im an extreame snowboarder, so I fall alot. A few joints in the morning should help with the pain somewhat. Hope your feeling better soon Rev.

Thanks, Stonerz. They had the inline (single rollers) but they also still have a lot of the double wheels like many of us grew up with. All the old geezers (myself included) went for the "doubles." I asked for the model with training wheels but he said they haven't been invented yet. At the very least, I'm tying a pillow to my ass next time to cushion the landing.

Believe it or not, I skated (once) with the roller blades. That was 16 years ago but who is counting. The girlfriend at the time decided we should cruise the small beach town we were visiting. We found the skate shop and the guy brought out the equipment... helmet (with face guard), gloves, wrist protectors, elbow pads, knee pads, maxi pads, chest protector, a space-age polymer cup to protect my junk... and then the boot skates. I looked at the pile of equipment and told the guy, "I don't want to go to war, I just wanna skate." I've seen major league baseball catchers that weren't protected nearly this well. I made it one block and stopped. The girlfriend asked, "Whatsa matter?" "I gotta pee," I said. "Damn my luck."

 

[Ptbo_Stonerz]

It is so good to hear from a man of the cloth with such a good sence of humor. You always make me laugh with your posts.

 

[Reverend Willis]

It is so good to hear from a man of the cloth with such a good sence of humor. You always make me laugh with your posts.

I'm not a man of the cloth but I was named after the right Reverend Willis. Most folks who have known me awhile will definitely tell you I ain't quite right. Glad to hear you get a chuckle from the Rev's postings. That makes it worthwhile for me.
An update on the battered, bruised body... I have a bruise the size of Rhode Island on my hip. It's really nasty. My friends tell me that's good news cause I'm gettin' to the age where hips break and don't bruise. Oh joy. Perhaps I should celebrate.

 

[bmello]

Yep, it was a good time, BG. Now is payback time. I'm sore in a couple of places I didn't know existed on my body. I'll be cruising the thrift stores today lookin' for a good deal on a walker. This is what happens when you don't exercise regularly. I'm also checkin' out burial plots in case I don't live through the day.

Rev, if you still need the walker, got one for you, it was left in my garage when I bought my house, it must have your name on it
Also, I know someone who sells plots...

 

[drfting07]

it isnt a college camp is it? You stay in the college dorms for like 1 or 2 weeks and eat your meals at the cafeteria? and you go to the actual classes at the college to learn about the subjects you signed up for? i went to one once

 

[Reverend Willis]

Rev, if you still need the walker, got one for you, it was left in my garage when I bought my house, it must have your name on it
Also, I know someone who sells plots...

Damn, is it my lucky day or what. Of course we'll need to customize that walker a bit. I'd like a basket on the front and one of those little ding-ding bells so when I push it through Wal-Mart I can ruffle the feathers of those poor, dumb sumbitchin' rednecks that drive so slow.
If'n it wouldn't be too much trouble, I'd also like one of those loud ass boom boxes with so much bass that you can feel it down in your gonads. I have a teenage neighbor that needs a little payback. I'll push my modified walker back and forth in front of his house until his eardrums bleed.
You're a fine young man to be lookin' after your poor, decrepit elders, mello.

 

[Reverend Willis]

it isnt a college camp is it? You stay in the college dorms for like 1 or 2 weeks and eat your meals at the cafeteria? and you go to the actual classes at the college to learn about the subjects you signed up for? i went to one once

Hey Drift. Nah, it's not a college camp. This was a day camp for 7th & 8th graders. They're not allowed to stay overnight until they get to high school. I wish it was a college camp. We have one of those for for our high school students but I'm stuck with the middle school-aged kids.
Too bad cause we have a fine university in this town -- 17,000 students so that means about 8,500 must be cute females. The Rev would like that cause they walk around nearly 'bout nekkid. Oh my goodness.

 

[bmello]

Damn, is it my lucky day or what. Of course we'll need to customize that walker a bit. I'd like a basket on the front and one of those little ding-ding bells so when I push it through Wal-Mart I can ruffle the feathers of those poor, dumb sumbitchin' rednecks that drive so slow.
If'n it wouldn't be too much trouble, I'd also like one of those loud ass boom boxes with so much bass that you can feel it down in your gonads. I have a teenage neighbor that needs a little payback. I'll push my modified walker back and forth in front of his house until his eardrums bleed.
You're a fine young man to be lookin' after your poor, decrepit elders, mello.

Shucks Rev, I don't know if I should be blushing since I am probably older than you, and also I am a woman but you couldn't have seen that coming!!!! Sweet of you though and I'll get the boom box from the obnoxious kid next door to me that loves to smoke crack in his backyard!!!

 

[Reverend Willis]

Shucks Rev, I don't know if I should be blushing since I am probably older than you, and also I am a woman but you couldn't have seen that coming!!!! Sweet of you though and I'll get the boom box from the obnoxious kid next door to me that loves to smoke crack in his backyard!!!

A chickamundo! You're right. I never saw that one coming. So, you don't have gonads, you have she-nads. Perhaps we should make a bet on who is oldest. I grew up watching Howdy Doody in Black & White. Still think your'e older?

 

[bmello]

Howdie Doodie was on when I grew up, along with Mr. Ed, Identical cousins (can't remember the title), Father knows best, etc. Oh, and Mr. Green Jeans...

 

[Reverend Willis]

Howdie Doodie was on when I grew up, along with Mr. Ed, Identical cousins (can't remember the title), Father knows best, etc. Oh, and Mr. Green Jeans...

... and Bunny Rabbit and Mr. Moose. Yes, Captain K was the man.
Identical cousins (can't remember the title) ... OK, Remembering those shows plus Memory loss proves you're older'n dirt. Do you believe we actually had to WALK across the room to change channels on that B/W tv! Ohmygawd.
Car 54 with Gunther Toody and his partner Muldoon... Ooh, ooh, ooh.
Seargeant Bilko bilking the other soldiers out of their paychecks.
My Mother, the Car. That dopey nun (Sally Fields) way back before she had osteoporisis. I guess all that flying caused her bones to degenerate.
Topper. The Millionaire. Gillette's Friday Night Fights (there's something about an Aqua Velva man). The Rifleman. Bonanza (with Pa, Lil' Joe, Hoss, Adam and not to forget Hop Sing the cook). Amos and Andy (with Kingfish and Lightnin'). Honeymooners (Ralph, Alice, Ed, and Trixie). And that brilliant dog, Lassie and Timmy ("what is it, Lassie? Grandpa's fallen into the well and can't get out?") The Real McCoys with Grandpa, Luke, Kate, Little Luke, Hassie, and Pepino (the first illegal immigrant). Beaver and Wally and June and Ward and Eddie Haskell and Fred and Clarence Rutherford (Lumpy) and Whitey. And my all-time favorites The Three Stooges (soitenly!).

TV has come a long way. I guess we have too. Thanks for spurring those memories.

 

[Stoney Bud]

A chickamundo! You're right. I never saw that one coming. So, you don't have gonads, you have she-nads. Perhaps we should make a bet on who is oldest. I grew up watching Howdy Doody in Black & White. Still think you're older?

Ha! Can I play? Heck bmello, the first time I saw you post, I thought you were a youngster in school still and it was some time before I realized you were a women. Who cares? I think both of you are cool people. It doesn't matter what gender you are or how old you are. We all like to have our weed and chill out. Good luck to both of you!

I was born in 1933. I was in the army before I saw my first real tv in the 50's. I didn't have much use for it. The thing scared me a little. Everyone said you could get killed by the "rays" it gave off if you stood too close to it. I tried to never go near it. If I did, I tried to stand behind some other person so they'd get all of the rays or whatever. Ha!

When I got back to the states after Korea, I saw them all the time in store windows, but still didn't get one until about the mid 60's. It was an old round cornered thing with a screen about 12 inches wide and the picture was only clear in the middle. I really thought it would go away soon. When the fancy ones came out in the fancy cabinets with two speakers, I thought hell, these things are here to stay I guess so I upgraded to a square cornered Zenith with tubes of course. You remember testing your tubes at the drug store in their machine? My favorite old show would be superman. What a guy! Bullets bouncing off and everything. I was much too old to be watching him, but I watched it every time I could. I saw my first color tv about the early 70's I guess. At first, only rich folks had em. Now I have Direct TV with 600 channels I don't even watch! My first tv only got 2 channels. 2 and 4.

If you guys are older than I, then that's good, but I think you guys are still young people around 50 or so. I'm still young too. I had a good talk with a lady who is 93 the other day. She told me some good old stories. When I brought up weed, she said she tried it with a friend once and it made her dizzy so she didn't like it. Ha! That's why I DO like it! That and it makes the little trouble pains go away. It makes me laugh a lot too. That's the fun part.

Have fun. That's my only real rule in life. I do my best to not hurt anyone and just have fun. I do work still. Can't figure out how to live right if I quit. I might quit when I'm 80. We'll see.

 

[bmello]

Wow Mr. Wizard!!! You are doing wonderful for your age, and you have got me beat. My father was born in 1920 and was a pearl harbor survivor, so I wish I could still listen to his stories, since he has passed, but love to listen to anyone that has stories so give us what you got, would love to hear more anytime!!! In fact, I have a pic of my dad when he won his first color TV back in the mid 70s, it was a compact size!!! Love to reminisce!!