The Original Old Farts Club

[Unca Walt]

I was wondering again why you dont grow a plant or two so you could just enjoy a regular joint (outside of course so it doesn’t bother the Scottish Witch)? If you had plenty weed, would you still choose this vehicle to medicate?

O raffs.

Gawd luv yer bones, SubG... But it is a fargin joke around here about Unca Black Thumb When It Comes To Weed. A short (not at all complete) history:

I tooken a pic (it is in the Bud of the Month file) of my finest grown creation in 40+ years of trying. It was 7" (that is INCHES) tall, all six leaves were yellow, and a rabbit ate it anyway... including the roots.

I yam in South Floriduh, and the ground at the Sneakydicker Chateau is 50% nematodes. Din' know that, so I bought a rototiller and made a garden with onions, tomatoes, string beans, peppers, and squash. My biggest squash was 3" long, and curled and "dead-ish". Nothing else grew. At all.

So I BOUGHT dirt in bags, built an above-ground garden plot, caged it.

And never saw a weed plant larger than one fargin inch... before something broke through the fencing and ate everything. Tried again (and again), and got fuzzy mold on every little spike poking out of the ground.

So I sent away for a plastic grow tent. Was able to grow some cilantro. YAY. Weed did not get two inches high before it was covered with a combination of little buggies and a strange grey mold. <-- No further growth achieved. The grow tent eventually collapsed after a couple of years of no weed, but lotsa cilantro.

I CAN grow mangoes. And coconuts.

The first time I placed a weed seed in the ground was over 60 years ago. Hundreds since then. ZERIO result. I know enuf now to know what the problems were/are.

They are Gawd telling me:

"You ain't gonna never grow none of that stuff, son. I have spoke."

LATE EDIT ADD TO ADDRESS THE WEED STRETCHING EFFORTS:

Two large hits on my new bubbler, exhaled into my Volcano bag... equals about six large hits straight. I get really bombed thataway. Quite the total reverse of losing some of the effect.

 

[RosterMan]

 

[ness]

Morning Unca freaking critters. I have a fence in yard and I'm lucky that no critters have broken in yet. Unca Walt can you take a picture of your new bubbler? I'm interested.

 

[Unca Walt]

Did I mention I have one of those little "in the kitchen" grow thingies for herbs? Have had it for 30 years. It will not grow weed. (*sigh*)

 

[Unca Walt]

Morning Unca freaking critters. I have a fence in yard and I'm lucky that no critters have broken in yet. Unca Walt can you take a picture of your new bubbler? I'm interested.

Sho' nuff. Hang on...

HAH! Fancy Pants is in this pic. Even though he's over three feet tall, he can disappear on a putting green. He is standing under the rubber tree just above and to the left of the metal burner/holder. The white squarish blob about four feet up on the tree just to the left of the poly hose is a cedar birdie house I made 20 years ago: It has a pile of baby cardinals innit.

Anyway, there's an Unca Waltie homemade bubbler, naked before your eyes. Metals tape.

 

[SubmarineGirl]

O raffs.

Gaws luv yer bones, SubG... But it is a fargin joke around here about Unca Black Thumb When It Comes To Weed. A short (not complete) history:

I tooken a pic (it is in the Bud of the Month file) of my finest grown creation in 40+ years of trying. It was 7" (that is INCHES) tall, all six leaves were yellow, and a rabbit ate it anyway... including the roots.

I yam in South Floriduh, and the ground at the Sneakydicker Chateau is 50% nematodes. So I BOUGHT dirt in bags, built an above-ground garden plot, caged it.

And never saw a plant larger than one fargin inch... before something broke through the fencing and ate everything. Tried again, and got fuzzy mold on every little spike poking out of the ground.

So I sent away for a plastic grow tent. Was able to grow some cilantro. YAY. Weed did not get two inches high before it was covered with a combination of little buggies and a strange grey mold. <-- No further growth achieved. The grow tent eventually collapsed after a couple of years of no weed, but lotsa cilantro.

I CAN grow mangoes. And coconuts.

The first time I placed a weed seed in the ground was over 60 years ago. Hundreds since then. ZERIO result. I know enuf now to know what the problems were/are.

They are Gawd telling me:

"You ain't gonna never grow none of that stuff, son. I have spoke."

LATE EDIT ADD TO ADDRESS THE WEED STRETCHING EFFORTS:

Two large hits on my new bubbler, exhaled into my Volcano bag... equals about six large hits straight. I get really bombed thataway. Quite the total reverse of losing some of the effect.

Good morning Walt. Well I guess you are a black thumb but mostly cause of the critters. I may have that same problem outside but I’m gonna try it this year at least to see how frustrated I get. We have lots of critters here too. I guess there is no chance the witch will let you have a wee tent in the house huh? That might help your critter problem anyway. Well I’m glad you have at least found a way to stretch your weed to make it last a bit longer. I do enjoy your stories and you do have a way with words that brings a smile to my face. Enjoy your Monday Walt

 

[SubmarineGirl]

Did I mention I have one of those little "in the kitchen" grow thingies for herbs? Have had it for 30 years. It will not grow weed. (*sigh*)

maybe you can get them a little bigger in your thingy before you put them out

 

[RosterMan]

@ness2 stoned again

 

[ness]

Morning SubG

 

[ness]

Morning Hydra yes the is a good state of mind. Think I'll join ya.

 

[Unca Walt]

BTW: "A fence in your yard" would not even be noticed by raccoons, otters, rabbits, squiddles, arma-dildoes, iguanas, bobcats, foxies, long-noses (ibis), and a host of other creatchy-poos that live in my jungle -- and come out to play every fargin day. I've got pics and movies of all of them.

 

[SubmarineGirl]

Morning SubG

Morning ness. Happy Monday

 

[Unca Walt]

Good morning Walt. Well I guess you are a black thumb but mostly cause of the critters. I may have that same problem outside but I’m gonna try it this year at least to see how frustrated I get. We have lots of critters here too. I guess there is no chance the witch will let you have a wee tent in the house huh? That might help your critter problem anyway. Well I’m glad you have at least found a way to stretch your weed to make it last a bit longer. I do enjoy your stories and you do have a way with words that brings a smile to my face. Enjoy your Monday Walt

Well, Gawd luv yer bones, Nice Lady.

 

[Unca Walt]

While we are on the subject of local fauna:

A neighbor of mine had a cyclone fence enclosure to keep his duckies safe. It was torn apart by a big lynx... which then killed all 13 of his duckies. He reinforced the structure to make it dang near bulldozer-proof.

And the gator in his pond got alla his new duckies.

 

[ness]

Wild hogs, deer is what most around me. I've seen one rabbit and no racoons. I do here the wolfs howling from the woods at night.

 

[Unca Walt]

Wild hogs, deer is what most around me. I've seen one rabbit and no racoons. I do here the woofs howling from the wolfs at night.

Oh. Shitdamnhellpissfartpoop. I fergot the wild hawgs. I have taken two of them out here at the Chateau: One with a rifle, and one with my crossbow. We ate 'em both.

My resident racketycoon is named "Absolute Unit" -- he is so fat, his legs look tiny, like on a hedgehog. He can hardly walk. The foxies always are blurry when I try to take a pic. If you want a blurry foxie pic, I can dig it up.

Lemme give y'all and example of the aggressive nature of the wildies around here when it comes to looking for grunts to swallow down:

I put six rose fertilizer plugs (hammer-in-the-ground hard, about six inches long) in the ground by my peach tree. Somebody dug them all up and dragged them to the middle of my side yard and tried to eat them! Fertilizer!!!

 

[Unca Walt]

While we are on the subject of the Beautiful Scottish Witch's fabulous artistic talent, she just gave me a quick pencil sketch she made of my (*sob*) late kittycat, Fuzzy, licking her nose as she always did:

 

[ness]

We eat wild hog here to. I like the taste of the wild game. I had rabbit once at Xmas and love it. Any picture of the wild would be great.

 

[Unca Walt]

We eat wild hog here to. I like the taste of the wild game. I had rabbit once at Xmas and love it. Any picture of the wild would be great.

Well, here's the one that got me on the magazine cover; I killed him in a knife fight -- the very knife on my hip in the pic (my gashed/bandaged left hand & arm can't be seen):

More mudane, but more exotic at the same time... here is mommy peahen and her baybees 20 years ago:

Growin' up:

Their first hiney fluff-up trials:

And here they are on the front lawn 20 years later. Momma and three boys:

And to complete the story and bring it up to date, here is the Riverboat Gambler all dressed in white who seduced Momma and got her to run off with him and abandon her fambly:

Never saw her again. The boys are still here this moanin'...

 

[Tattered Old Graywolf]

I have once again mixed my experimentation with my acrasia.

Came up with something I think is different: I built a bubbler out of a big white plastic pill bottle, with a burner made from the tube of a defunct old vape thingy. I put that steel screening (two layers) about a half-inch down inside the tube/burner. <-- That way, I could use some of the poly tubing I have without it melting.

So what? But wait~~ Lo! And behold the jeenyis: I carved a wine cork as a loose plug for the burner.

Then I combined the parts I have: a tiny bit of Uno Who's Finest (about 1/2 inch off the end of one of those La Aroma de Cuba Jefe's) into the burner, light it, inhale, plug the burner (instant OFF) and exhale into the Volcano bag.

Your next bubbler inhale goes into the bag. You will get a minimum of three or four hits to place in the bag.

When you are ready to continue, take a hit from the bag... and return it. You will find that there is most ricky-tick goodness waiting in that bag -- that would have been a dim memory in a smoky room. You'll get another ten or so hits from the bag before you have taken it all.

My new innovation-cum-procedure requires no expense to replicate for anyone here.

Lemme tellya of the discovered advantages:

1. The obvious efficiency improvement for elimination of wasted weed. Factor of ten.
2. Cheap, with parts available to all.
3. This one is surprising: I do not smoke weed in the house (Volcano bag is fine with my Scottish Witch) but when you just follow the above procedure... there is no weed odor indoors!!

So here I sit, just now finishing the V-bag... and I forgot what I was going to say.

We did a similar thing back in the early 70's with a straw, rubber band, and plastic bag when things were tight. The first person took a toke and exhaled into the plastic bag, which they passed to the next person, who toked, exhaled into the bag and passed it back.

We also passed smoke while kissing, which is more fun. Two for the price of one.

What fell off fast with the bag was the flavor and they got all wet inside. I can't remember much wrong with the kissing method except getting distracted.