The Original Old Farts Club

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Even with running, Jan was fairly chilled by the time he was pounding on the door of the Dominie. When it opened, to Jan’s inner delight he saw that the Dominie was well into his cups again.

“Come in, come in quickly. You’ll freeze us both.” A souse he might have been, but Bogardus and Jan had always gotten along well. A good deal of that was due to the mutual antipathy they shared for Willem Kieft. Everardus Bogardus hurried back over to the fire, and Jan followed right behind him. Bogardus hesitated a long few seconds, then sighed and said, “You look like you could use a tot of brandy.” He reached up to the top of the mantle, and brought down the warmed bottle and a small cup. He placed it on the table next to his own larger cup (filled to the brim) and poured a small amount into Jan’s.

“So what brings you to my abode without so much as a coat, my friend?”

Jan took a welcome sip of the fiery liquid. “Ahh. Thank you Everardus. Next time you stop at the tavern, have a tankard of good beer on me.”

“That I will do, you may rest assured,” Bogardus answered with a smile. “Now, as I said, why are you here… and panting like a bull from running in the meadow?”

“How would you like to force Willem Kieft to retract his death sentence on Manuel The Giant – especially since I just came from him where he denied that he would ever do such a thing?”

“Oh, that would be great sport!” Bogardus took a deep draught of his brandy. “He would never listen to anything I say, that is a certainty, but if I could do it I most definitely would. Especially,” he took another sip, “if he really was against doing such a thing. That would be grand.”

“Manuel The Giant was protecting Little Annetje from the slave he killed. Little Annetje told me what happened. The slave had taken my Little Blossom around the corner of my house out of sight of the road, and was…” Jan’s face clouded and his throat caught. “Anyway, Manuel The Giant loves her dearly. He came on the scene just in time. He picked up that piece of dog dirt and broke his neck for him.”

“You told this to Governor Kieft and he still did not rescind the hanging sentence?”

“You know very well, Everardus, that Kieft loves to see killing done. Especially in front of him.” Jan took his last sip, emptying the little cup. “He would never rescind the order unless he had to.”

“That’s true, Jan. Before that evil man would rescind a hanging he had pronounced, he would have to be faced with…”

“…Divine intervention,” Jan finished.

“There is something here which I have not caught on to yet, my friend. Out with it. You look like you have just received a letter from the Angel Gabriel.”

Jan smiled conspiratorially. “Suppose, Everardus, that some Dominie – Oh, I don’t know who – called upon Divine intervention to foil the hanging of Manuel The Giant when everyone is at the Place of Justice tomorrow evening.”

“Keep going, you scoundrel,” Bogardus took another gulp of brandy. “I smell something cooking in the Snedeker kitchen, I do.”

“Well,” Jan tapped the cup on the table, but the Dominie affected not to notice. “Suppose the rope broke? And when they brought out a new rope, that one broke also? Could any Dominie you know of make something of that?”

A wide grin broke out across Bogardus’ face.

“Oh, but couldn’t I, just?”

“Suppose then, some scoundrel you knew happened to have some leatherworking chemicals that are well-known – among those in the trade – to cause hemp to become quite brittle? Suppose also that that same scoundrel could have those ropes positively soaked with them before this night is out – do you think a certain Dominie could deal a good, sound blow to Willem Kieft while saving the life of an innocent man?”

Both men were grinning.

“As I see it, Jan Snedeker, we shall be doing the Lord’s work. Have another brandy!”

Just after supper when it was full dark, Jan took his glass bottle down Pearl Street, turned right, and ambled casually to the Place of Justice. No one was afoot in the snow-blanketed cold night, and this suited him just fine. He had lightly warmed the bottle by the fireplace during dinner, as he knew the mixture worked better when warm. A simple latch held the door closed to the storeroom, and Jan was inside in a flash.

Once inside, he opened the shutters on the candle lantern and looked around. Implements, pulleys, and… rope. Two big coils of it, thicker than his thumb. He had already planned how he would wet the ropes down, so he uncoiled them as much as possible on the storeroom floor in order to be able to work with the entire lengths of both ropes.

Jan knew the liquid he was putting on the ropes would slightly discolor them, therefore he wanted to make sure the color was uniform by painting the entire lengths of both of the ropes. Another consideration was if he only wet down a small section, that section may not have been the weight bearing section when the rope was used.

Better to do the lengths of both ropes evenly.

The candle was guttering before he was done. He realized that he probably did not really have to do as neat a job of coating the ropes as he had done, but his father’s teachings about extra care while working were hard to throw off. He grinned in the dark.

The crowd began to gather by the gallows in the Place of Justice fairly early in the afternoon. Dominie Everardus Bogardus took advantage of the extra time to preach a generalist sermon well sprinkled with anecdotes about forgiveness and mercy. When the time for the execution came closer and the crowd was nearly at its maximum, he was completely unable to avoid casting more and more pointed aspersions upon Governor Kieft for condemning an innocent man to death.

Kieft was just arriving about the time Dominie Everardus Bogardus was nearly finished, and with the masterful oratory for which he was justly famous, he called upon God and the Holy Spirit to intervene in the favor of the innocent – and to foil the naked bloodlust of the unholy.

“Pretty strong stuff,” Jan whispered in an aside to Bogardus as the Dominie stepped down off the gallows platform to join the crowd. Governor Willem Kieft was red in the face with rage at the obvious reference to him.

“Bring out the prisoner!” he called.

Manuel The Giant came shambling forward, flanked by two militiamen with spears. His hands were tied with multiple loops in front of him, and he was hobbled.

Jan was delighted to see the ropes tying the big man’s hands and feet were sections of the ropes he had treated the night before. He whispered this wonderful news to the Dominie. Everardus Bogardus’ eyes lit up as he saw further opportunity opening before him.

Manuel The Giant did not realize what was going on, except that he knew it was not good. He was docile as he was led up the five steps of the gallows scaffold, and did not complain when the noose was placed around his neck. The crowd was silent.

“I call upon you, Governor Willem Kieft, to free this innocent man!” The Dominie’s voice called out into the stillness. “Will you do so?”

“No!” came the terse reply. “This man killed a slave. He is to hang.”

“Then I call upon God Almighty to save this innocent man from your injustice!”

In answer, Willem Kieft gave the signal, and the trap door opened. Manuel The Giant dropped through, and wound up sitting with a dazed look on the ground as the rope snapped. He had found the fall amusing, and smiled happily.

“Bring another rope!” Willem Kieft’s voice cracked as he shouted.

Quickly, the second rope was brought forward and a new noose fashioned. The black giant was again led up the steps to the platform. As the noose was placed around his neck, everyone heard the stentorian tones of Dominie Everardus Bogardus.

“Governor Willem Kieft! I call upon you to cease defying Almighty God with your need to slake your bloodlust, and let this innocent man go!”

“Guards! Remove that man!” Kieft yelled. There was an uproar at this, and Willem Kieft looked around and said, “Never mind, let the old drunk prattle.”

“Again, I call upon God Almighty to save this innocent man from the injustice of Governor Kieft!”

With a wary eye, Kieft again gave the signal. This time, Manuel The Giant began laughing, and got up without prompting. He hobbled up the steps as fast as he could, ready to play again. The crowd roared with laughter.

The Dominie seized his moment to perfection.

“Manuel The Giant!” he shouted, “Receive the strength and power from God as did Samson when bound with ropes of perfidy! Burst your bonds asunder!”

The big black man looked at the Dominie in confusion.

Somebody yelled, “Go ahead and break the ropes, Manuel!”

Manuel The Giant grinned at this game, and easily parted the many coils of ropes around his wrists. They fell in several pieces at his feet. When he looked at his feet, he almost absently broke those ropes also.

The crowd went wild.

Even Willem Kieft was caught up in the fervor. His shouted pardon for Manuel The Giant was clearly heard by the whole crowd.

Dominie Everardus Bogardus went home and got gloriously drunk.
 
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My Father in Law was a Marine (Proud Marine)
We had a few beers one day while his daughter was at work.(my wife now)
He was telling war stories , Funny guy LOL
He told me how he took his bayonet and open a grenade up , removed fuse and stuck knife into the explosive inside and hollowed out as much as he could.
He was laughing under his breath and I soon found why.
You see old George had something up his sleeve , this is what he did.
He took that grenade and reassembled it without what he thought was all the powder from inside, and pulled pin and proceeded to roll it in to the higher ups bunker . He was out side the door and Boom it went off , smoke and dust every where , Guys coming out choking and weezing, all the while yelling Incoming........
He had to control himself not to laugh, No one was injured Thank God.
After that he was looked at in a whole different light by those who knew he did it.\\
Oh course I asked How did remove all Ord, from inside with a Kabar the tip is way to big, He said I thought I got it all. Mistake.
 
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Hey, Pute. You've got one of those Better Homes & Gardens type lawns. What's a good weed and feed to use? I never used anything before because of the geese, but since the 'yote ate 'em, I figure I can get rid of the grubs that attract the moles, and weeds. When's the best time? Spring or Fall?
 
Hey, Pute. You've got one of those Better Homes & Gardens type lawns. What's a good weed and feed to use? I never used anything before because of the geese, but since the 'yote ate 'em, I figure I can get rid of the grubs that attract the moles, and weeds. When's the best time? Spring or Fall?
I use Rich Lawn Organic Fertilizer

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For the toughest weeds it is Fertelome Weed Free Zone.

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And grubs (Japanese Beetles) or any other insects in the roots it is Hi-Yield Grub free Zone

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In Vietnam they dropped hand grenades in ******* leaders bunkers that they didn't like. Only difference is they wasn't playing.

Known as fragging, and provided leaders new insight and motivation.

never be the third light off of a match .. always open your cig pack from the bottom ..

Incoming rounds have the right of way............
 
@bigsur51 Morning
Question I agree about watering in tray under plants myself and I use a shop vac when too much has been added. What do you do if you have to much left sitting in pan?
Do you leave it and allow plant to absorb as needed , I tried that indoors and the water in pan went green in a day or two. I then used shopvac to remove almost all except a little bit 10% runoff maybe.
What say Ye
 

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