The Original Old Farts Club

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I have been zapped by lightning twice.

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unreal, I got popped twice .. Big Bend Nat Park mountains in '74 while lookin for buttons, and then in my extra bedroom at home where a 70ft Ham radio antenna was just a ft and half outside away from my head .. 75 i think
 
I will honor your request GW and join in.

Good! It works ever so much better if everyone does...........................

@ GW, they are talking about your city on the news right now. What a shame. The American people are gonna have to spend their hard earned tax dollar to rebuild the Summer of Love that was allowed there. Seattle and many cities are now faced with a mess after all the destruction ...... Pay up suckers....

Makes me sick.

Makes me sick too, especially to drive downtown and see all the boarded up businesses. The a**holes are still at destroying property to make us feel more kindly toward illegal aliens.

Good morning OFC. Let's start this Monday off with a session of "wake 'n bake". We be Puffin' 'n Passin'.

Good idea brother! Unleash the naked women with fire in their eyes and let the puffin begin..........
 
Morning OFC! It's March!!! Time for me to start thinking about getting my summer lawn equipment checked out and up to speed. Mower needs the blade sharpened and new tires. Everything needs the oil changed. I also need to replace some edgeing and that is just to start. There is always something else that is gonna need attention that is gonna bite me in the arise as well.

Will enjoy the warm week in the forecast...tired of freezing. So, it's 19 f outside .....did I say warm....
 
Hola pincheys....ordering Sheetrock today , delivered at no charge for a 40 mile round trip , not bad for the country....otherwise it’s a 150 miles one way into the big city of Colorado Springs , I have not not been there since last year sometime....and I avoid the big city as much as possible....much more peaceful out here with good vibes



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A pleasant good morning to all my fellow old farts. Looks like a beautiful day is instore. Might just take my bride out for brunch at the local diner.
Had a great time with her at the watering hole yesterday. Got to see an old friend that I hadn't seen since the covid crap started. Dude is turning 70 this week, and could easily pass for 60 or less. Just a beer drinkin', pot smokin' old railer that you still wouldn't care to mess with.

One of the locals is a total source of entertainment to me. He started drinking bottle beer a few weeks ago because he was afraid of catching the flu by drinking out of a draft glass. His girlfriend of 45 years is still drinking out of a pitcher, and he sleeps next to her every night. Yesterday, he brings in his own mug. Somehow, he feels safer, yet he's drinking out of the pitcher that is washed the same way the beer mugs are washed. Go figure.
 
Cigarettes Machine
A man and a woman are in a hotel and are about to have sex. They already have all of their clothes off and are in the bed when the woman says, "I want a pack of cigarettes."
The man says, "You want a pack of cigarettes... before?" She says, "Ya, I'll concentrate better if I have a smoke."

The man says, "OK," and goes to get a pack of cigarettes. He doesn't think to get dressed because it is so late. He goes to the cigarette machine and decides to buy two packs just in case. He starts heading back to his room when he sees three nuns. He poses as a statue and hopes they'll pass by.

The nuns come over to him and since they had never seen a naked man they thought he was a vending machine. The first nun searches for the trigger mechanism and pulls his johnson. Startled, he drops a pack of cigarettes. The second nun does the same and he drops the other pack of cigarettes. When the third nun executes the maneuver she says, "Look girls it has lotion, too!"
 
What do you call an incestuous nephew?
An aunt-eater.

What do you do with a year’s worth of used condoms?
Melt them into a tire and call it a goodyear.

When is it okay to beat up a dwarf?
When he’s standing next you girlfriend saying that her hair smells nice.

What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth?
A glad-he-ate-her.
 

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