Cigarettes Machine
A man and a woman are in a hotel and are about to have ***. They already have all of their clothes off and are in the bed when the woman says, "I want a pack of cigarettes."
The man says, "You want a pack of cigarettes... before?" She says, "Ya, I'll concentrate better if I have a smoke."
The man says, "OK," and goes to get a pack of cigarettes. He doesn't think to get dressed because it is so late. He goes to the cigarette machine and decides to buy two packs just in case. He starts heading back to his room when he sees three nuns. He poses as a statue and hopes they'll pass by.
The nuns come over to him and since they had never seen a naked man they thought he was a vending machine. The first nun searches for the trigger mechanism and pulls his johnson. Startled, he drops a pack of cigarettes. The second nun does the same and he drops the other pack of cigarettes. When the third nun executes the maneuver she says, "Look girls it has lotion, too!"