The Original Old Farts Club

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A fireplace with a metal liner that allows you to circulate air around it, and a glass door with the combustion air coming from outside would heat more of your house and draw less heated air out of the room through the chimney.
There you go then that’s what I need. I like those wood stoves that free stand on the hearth so you can cook a pot of beans on the top. I miss my old wood stove. I was always warm. Here in Virginia, I can’t put enough clothes on to keep warm
 
Awright, lobster shift here. Got up just before 3AM. <--Prepare your minds, chillun -- this shit happens when you are 82.

Don't get me wrong -- I went to bed at 8PM. <-- Prepare your minds, chillun -- etc, etc.

Anyway, wuz out trying to find Andromeda, but between clouds and the moon I couldn't locate a thing.

That left me with one thing: So I James Bondly stoked up one of those glassy-tubey four-inch thingies with Boo's Finest and decided to discipline myself to get a true baseline for how many actual, inhales-exhales you can get from a pea-sized bud -- each one counted by smoke going by the desk lamp from a complete exhale.

Using, of course, The Sneakydicker Technique.

This may be as hard to swallow as a Vaseline sandwich, but it came to 61 visible smoke complete exhales over the period of one hour. <-- I claim a world record.

But, lo! Cast thine eyes (eewww) upon the secondary, unexpected result: Hadda put the fargin glassy-tubey thing down even though it was not used up. Why? 'Cause here is Unca Waltie looking down at Lady Liberty's tits.

What little hair I have on my head has been calamistrated. My tongue is asleep. I haven't been this high since... well, ever.

My name will go down as the savior of humanity when this Procedure is adopted worldwide.
 
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I ain't that old... Lemme tellya about Tom A. Newton. AKA: Tough-Ass Newton:
He was my Top Sergeant, and he was on his second enlistment when I was born (1940). <-- TINS

His serial number had seven digits. 💂‍♂️

He was terrifying. He had tusks. A vignette from the Olden Days:

An Army Ranger, a Recon Marine, a Navy SEAL, and Tough-Ass Newton were sitting around a camp fire. The Army Ranger, bragging about his exploits says "You guys aren't so tough, I once parachuted down, marched fifty miles, and killed everyone in sight."

The Recon Marine is unimpressed, and says, "That's nothing, I once made a beach landing, marched 60 miles, and killed everyone in sight."

The SEAL is unimpressed, he says "That's nothing, I once swam 10 miles to shore, marched 70 miles, and killed everyone in sight with my bare hands."

They all look over at Tough-Ass Newton, and he's dead silent, just stirring the coals of the fire with his d.ick.
 

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