Really?!

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I catch you stealing my shit and I'm kicking your ass. Big,small, short,fat, I don't give a shit. Iffen I can't beat your ass I will have my Wife cut you 😁
A former coworker was asleep when someone broke into their back door. He was one street off and regularly came in drunk. The house one street over is the same layout. As they were beating his ass Dennis ran his head into the wall mounted can opener and hit wife clocked him with a portable air pump.

120+ stitches and a night in the hospital. We got stoned and laughed about that for months
 

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