mmj for bipolar, paranoia, and anxiety

[Hackerman]

Can I rant for a moment, please. (notice there's no question mark because I'm going to anyway. LOL)

In case no one has notice (BWAHAHAAHAH) I have more mental illnesses than anyone here. More than most combined.

I have more initials after my name than my dog. And, he's an AKC champion AKC,CD,CDX,UD,UDX. And, I have him beat by 1 letter with OCD,AADD,ADD,ADHD and MANIC DEPRESSION (yeah, I said manic depression. I had it way before they gave it that fancy new name of Bi-polar disorder. I have old fashion manic depression, just like Jimi sang about.) LOL

The dang (can't cuss here or I would say worse) doctors have had me on more drugs than Timothy Leary. Bunch of morons pushing drugs. Never met a shrink that could spar with me on knowledge. I usually knew more about their profession than they did. One ***** had me diagnosed as schizophrenic and put me on Thorazin. Wow, what a buzz that stuff gives you. Try that and you'll never bother with pot again. LMAO And, when I was diag'd with MD, we didn't have all these cool new drugs. It was Lithium and then Prozac and then Zoloft.

Finally after many years.... I simply came to terms. It's who we are. It's what we are. It's as much a part of us as our eyes and our ears. It's always there and it's NEVER going to go away, no matter what drug we take. I was a heroin addict for almost 10 years. If that didn't do it, pot sure isn't. LMAO

And, it's not all bad. It can be a good thing. While I was on the streets pounding coke and heroin day and night it was ..... well, a bad thing. LMAO

However, when it was driving me though my business, working day and night...... quite frankly, it made me a multimillionaire and comfortably retired before I was 50 years old. I could have never been as successful as I was without all my mental illnesses. I would have simply worked at the "office" for 30 years, 9 to 5, and retired (if I didn't get laid off 2 years before retirement like so many of my "normal" friends.) Albeit, I did spend almost a year under my desk crying about that time. But, in the end, I am here. I have the money. I am miserable as can be and as happy as a lark....... depending on the day.

Some days are sooooo bad. Half way through the day I am simply exhausted from the depression. I don't know what it is about depression that's so exhausting but..... I think we all know how that feels.

But hey..... what the heck, I KNOW it's going to end. I KNOW that some day in the future is going to be fun. Maybe even that day.

It doesn't make it better, really. You're still depressed. But, you know it's going to end, if even for a moment.

I guess it's like this. When I had my business I used to make the girls that answered the phone, SMILE, before you answer the phone. No matter what kind of mood you're in, BIG smile before you answer the phone. They all thought I was crazy at first but it wasn't long before they realized how well it worked.

I try to think of that when I'm down.

Hey, up, down, whatever. My life sux. My life is great.

It's hard to think of this some times when you're depressed but... I have 2 arms. And, 2 legs. I have eyes to see the screen. My fingers work and.... well, my ***** still works at 60+.

Shìt, I look around every day and I see people that don't have these things.

Well, it's 4AM. Time to turn off my rant and go to bed and say my prayers and thank God for what I do have. Be it bi-polar disorder or knowledge and strength. Whatever it is, it's what life has given me and if I can say it right now.... thank you life, for all you given me. Good with bad.

Good night.

 

[zem]

I'll tell you what they get out of that..... trips to Greece. At least that's what my buddy (he's a doc) got on his last "rebate" from the pharm.

Don't kid yourself, those doctors get something EVERY TIME one of their prescriptions are filled.

One of his partners got over $40k in "rebates" in one year from the pharms.

Do a simple Google of "do doctors get rebates from prescriptions" and you'll see how it works. You'll get a zillion hits but... they'll all say the same thing.

It's all about the money. No one cares about your health. That's why it's so important today (more than ever in our history) that YOU be responsible for you health. Know what you eat. Know your body.

Although, on the other side of the coin... if it wasn't for all the money, we would have legal cannabis, That's for sure. LOL

So, I guess it's all good. Just be smart and read read read.

I don't know what to add, it quite describes my perspective, I think that money made a lot of docs forget about conscience, and being good. I can see their hunger for money and something must be done to fix this, but it is far far away from being fixed, because most people, are already employed by drug pushers, or corporations that resemble them, and the corporations are the power holders because they hold the money, so it would take a lot of sacrifice, sort of revolutions and such, to change this, and no one quite yet is ready to destroy the system to start a new one. it's sort of keeping an animal fed just right to the point that he doesn't revolt, but never give him too much so that he remains under your control

 

[Rosebud]

Hackerman, that was so honest, your rant. I am in awe of your ability to express all that so well. It is an amazing testament to your strength that you are even here. Thank you for sharing that. And thank you for surviving. You have important message to share.

I remember when my mom was here and she paid 600 dollars a month for prescriptions in her 90's. I filled in at a doctors office one day for him, and the pharm folks came by with Olive Garden for the whole staff, not just lunch, but lattes and desserts and salads... I was so ticked at them spending all that and my little mommy was paying so much of her income on meds... Still pissed about it.

 

[WeedHopper]

It amazes me when i see advertising on tv for Drugs. They take 90% of the commercial to tell you all the bad crap it can do to you,,which most is worse then what is supposed to help with.

 

[my my]

Hackerman

:clap:

well said, much respect for you
:joint:

 

[Kraven]

Hackerman, that was so honest, your rant. I am in awe of your ability to express all that so well. It is an amazing testament to your strength that you are even here. Thank you for sharing that. And thank you for surviving. You have important message to share.

I remember when my mom was here and she paid 600 dollars a month for prescriptions in her 90's. I filled in at a doctors office one day for him, and the pharm folks came by with Olive Garden for the whole staff, not just lunch, but lattes and desserts and salads... I was so ticked at them spending all that and my little mommy was paying so much of her income on meds... Still pissed about it.

I agree Rose, it makes me sick to my stomach, our healthcare system is broken. They pay me close to 60k a year and teachers with the same years experience hardly make 40k. I hate when people have to decide whether to eat or take their meds. We should be honoring and helping the elderly, not making them have to make these type of despicable decisions!

 

[Kraven]

Rose I just R E A L L Y read your post, are you a MD ?

 

[Rosebud]

No, i worded that wrong, i filled in as a favor to him, the doctor, no i am not nearly bright enough to be an MD.

 

[Hackerman]

My Mom will be 89 tomorrow. She takes 2 pills. A real weak blood pressure pill and a real weak sugar pill. She doesn't need either but the doctor was able to scare her into them by telling her she'll have a stroke if she doesn't take it. Her BP is usually around low 120's over low 80's. My Dad died from a stroke and it freaked her out watching him die. All goofy and couldn't talk or move. It terrified her real bad so whenever the doctor wants her to take something, he tells her she'll have a stroke if she doesn't take it.

She's pretty cool. Still walks at least a mile a day. Drives like a teenager and parties until 11pm or midnight half the nights every week. LOL No doubt, she could kick my butt. LOL I hope she never become dependent. That would kill her.

 

[Rosebud]

That is cool Hackerman. I had the greatest mom ever i think. she played the organ for church till she was 89 and died at 93. She lived in my town the last four years. One of the last things she ever said to me was, "we have had a lot of fun haven't we"... Yes mom, we did.

 

[64yoda]

I'll tell you what they get out of that..... trips to Greece. At least that's what my buddy (he's a doc) got on his last "rebate" from the pharm.

Don't kid yourself, those doctors get something EVERY TIME one of their prescriptions are filled.

One of his partners got over $40k in "rebates" in one year from the pharms.

Do a simple Google of "do doctors get rebates from prescriptions" and you'll see how it works. You'll get a zillion hits but... they'll all say the same thing.

It's all about the money. No one cares about your health. That's why it's so important today (more than ever in our history) that YOU be responsible for you health. Know what you eat. Know your body.

Although, on the other side of the coin... if it wasn't for all the money, we would have legal cannabis, That's for sure. LOL

So, I guess it's all good. Just be smart and read read read.

Thanks, Hackerman. I'm not gonna get all paranoid about it, but yeah, I guess he does take an international trip somewhere with his family every year. Lol. At least he does psychotherapy though. I've only had one doc where I would see him for like 5-10 minutes and he'd change around the meds or whatever every couple weeks. At least this guy actually says he's had patients that have gotten off meds completely. So, I won't kid myself anymore. I just assumed it was certain docs that did that.

 

[Hackerman]

Yeah, it's only some of them. Only the ones who want to make money. The doctors who are just in it for the compassion and work for free would never do that.

ROTFLMAO

They are all in it for the money. We all go to our job for the money. If we win the lottery, what's the first thing we do...... quit our job. LOL

I don't blame them altogether. The insurance system blows. All the med stations are owned by big business and trying to maximize profits. You would not believe how much malpractice insurance is for a cardiac surgeon. On top of all that, kids have to go to college and wives need diamonds and minks. LOL

It's all about the money. Everything in the world is. If they could find a way to make money off of love and compassion, it would die, too. Kind of sad but, it's what it is. What can be done.

We have somewhat of a problem with doctors in my family, anyway. My sister who was a beautiful model in the peak of her career was killed by a plastic surgeon during routine liposuction because he was addicted to pain killers. He accidentally cut into her liver and rather than call 911 and have to take a drug test, he let her bleed to death and die on the table. She was 49.

Less than a year later, my brother was in a nursing home suffering from depression and a bunch of other stuff and a doctor said he was unruly and "accidentally" gave him an overdose of Haldol. He instantly went into cardiac arrest and we pulled the plug on my brain dead brother about a week later. He was 52.

Pretty tough on Mom to loose 2 kids in one year to incompetent medical professionals.

Like I said, we have little love and less trust... for most doctors.

I have said it before and I'll say it again. WE are responsible for our own health and our own health care. If you take every pill the ***** doctor tells you to take.... you deserve all the side effects. You're an ***** too. You two belong together. With all the information on the internet, there is absolutely no reason for any person to be uninformed about foods they eat or drugs they take other than the person's own laziness and ignorance.

Geeze, I been ranting a lot the past 2 days, I better go take a zanax. LOL

 

[Rosebud]

hackerman, i am so sorry your mother and you had to endure the incompetence of doctors. I just want to have a tiny voice and say i worked for the same doctor for 20 years. He gave away more in service then i made in two years, every year. He made money but he gave sooooo much. You wouldn't believe it if i told you. They aren't all bad. Where as big pharm, they are all bad.