Awright pute... you want some input. I have a sore throat from screaming at the "Sleep comfort number" people.
Prior to Christmas, we bought a $3300 !!! mattress for our sleigh-bed to replace the 20-year old one. So they came in day before yestiddy to take out the old mattress (it no longer stayed air-filled on my side).
The mattress/box spring combo is huge (California King Size). The guys installed it and started telling me how I can contact the fargin thing on my phone... TINS.
Anyway, after they left with the thing set on `100 Sleep Number' <-- Max... I decided to lay down on it and see what I got for my $33 hunnert.
As soon as I laid down, the head of the mattress dropped a foot, and the foot of the mattress went UP a foot... sorta dumping me into the big headboard head first. I could NOT GET OUT OF THE FARGIN BED!!!
The angle was weird. When I finally got offa the mattress and outa the bed, I got a flashlight to see what the hell was going on under the bed. (no access under -- the bed weighs a half-ton.
Sure 'nuff: the groid sumbitches (that I had give a $10 each to) had NOT put the thing in right. Not at all. And now it was totally out of reach.
They had moved the slat closest to the headboard four feet south. NO support up top. This caused the slat to break. The slat broke because the pus-licking, fartbubble boogersuckers had NOT put the four support posts up where the two halves of the mattress met in a vertical line down the center. <-- Since each side could be adjusted, of course it was really two mattresses joined in the center... NEEDING THOSE POST SUPPORTS JUST LIKE THE OUTSIDE EDGES NEEDED THE SUPPORT OF THE BED FRAME.
OK. My Beautiful Witch got the company on the horn due to my thundering demands (I had to apologize to her later). She told the saleslady/owner that the guys installing the thing had really screwed up, and the bed could not be slept in. It was at a 20-degree angle head-down.
After twenty minutes, I overheard that Herself was not getting any cooperation at all in getting the setup crew to turn around and head back. The **** saleslady said she wanted me to take pictures of the mess before she would send anyone. And then Photoshop the pictures and send them to her by email.
Guess -- just guess, Pilgrims -- what my response was to that "work order".
She wanted to know why the setup was all awry and kept on asking for minutia descriptions. And she could/would not send anybody until next Tuesday.
That. Did. It.
My wife and I had laid out multiple thousands of bucks a month ago... AND NOW WE DID NOT EVEN HAVE A BED TO SLEEP IN!!!!!!
My "sergeant's voice" as Herself calls it came roaring out. I told the broad on the other end of the line that she had better act faster than that or I would shut her business down. <-- I was serious. I explained to her how I really could do just that. Don't fucc with old guys -- we have learned things.
She cried when I explained exactly how I could do it, but that did not change a fargin thing. Seems she could not get the "team" because they were 90 miles away and heading to another job to furgle up -- and she could not contact them until they got back.
So my Adorable Scottish Royalty -- direct descendant of Edward I (Longshanks) slept in her sewing room where there is a trundle bed (single) and I pushed two hassocks up against a sofa in the living room. Imagine my pleasure.
I woke up about 2AM with A Plan. I had worked out how one old -- but mean -- guy could do a job that really-truly required two young healthy dudes. Went and bought some boards at Home Dump, cut them to slat-size. Found a new/old fence post in the garage and cut it into four loaves with my chopsaw.
Was able to lift one corner of the mattress/frame thingy and prop it with a vertical board. This gave me access to one corner of this rig... So I put the fence post brace in the center so the mattresses did not cave in, and then put the new slat in.
Repeated that process 8 times (had to lift each side of each end, and then same-o twice in the middle) So with 8 proppings, I got slats (reinforced properly) put in place. All by myself. The mattress weighs about 200 pounds dead lift. Lift the mattress, risk being guillotined while I leaned way under the tipsy-propped edge and assembled the slats.
My stentorian breathing sounded like a steam engine starting to move. HAH! And me gonna go take a fargin stress test on Monday. <-- That'll be a breeze, comparatively.
Anyway I got it all fixed. When the "team" shows up, I will go First Sergeant on them and then tell them what kind of a job they did, and to get the hell out of my sight before I confiscate their truck.
Meanwhile, I have to use Chloraseptic.
Hadda use over $30 in lumber. I will send a bill -- with a peace offering that I would not destroy their business if they pay it immediately.