You can always say you live in Florida and lost an arm wrestle with a Gator
Island Of Misfits
- Thread starter WeedHopper
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Would rather not be in a situation where I have to do that.
During lunch at work, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't). When I got home, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.
The beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.
It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a garbage dump! I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other leg, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on releasing atomic bombs like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable!
Eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, so I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.
My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long.
He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table, with their hands to their noses, chorused, "Happy Birthday!"
The beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.
It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a garbage dump! I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other leg, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on releasing atomic bombs like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable!
Eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, so I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.
My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long.
He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table, with their hands to their noses, chorused, "Happy Birthday!"
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^^^^funny
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no one escape Wonder Woman!
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Looks like Wonder Woman is into a little B&D action.
joeb631a
Well-Known Member
whats your name....?!You know why Italian men wear moustaches? So they can look like their mother.
I made a Fire
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Make it a hot one. She's been underground for three years.
Yep
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Young Ivan is well on his way to becoming a rock star...he loves sporting around town face pasted out the window of with the top down...he's not all that fond of the rooster...I believe the rooster is who's destroying all my eggs, every morning I find them cannibalized and I had to buy eggs for the first time in forever today...
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he's been promised to Dutch many years ago...I'd video it but if it ever got into the wrong hands I'd be toast...Ivan was born a chicken hater it seems, Dutch has developed that anger over the years...
My Maryjane is into squirrel hunting now. She is super fast and is sure to catch one soon. We unleash the dogs at the park if no kids are there. She almost got one today. Now every time she goes out she’s hunting them. She asks to go out all the time now. I don't trust her outside for long by herself yet so we are dealing with controlling that.
I’d put him in a pot with some dumplings
joeb631a
Well-Known Member
catch the look the pup gives back !
