- Joined
- Aug 25, 2014
- Messages
- 17,918
- Reaction score
- 57,502
It lets the voice in my head that tells me to leave the rifle in the truck come through. Safer for everyone involved.
How do you pull yourself out of the dumps?
- Thread starter greenscreen13
- Start date
I want to
greenscreen13
Well-Known Member
When I posted this thread I wasn't sure what would come of it. I was struggling pretty bad when I did. I still am who am I kidding but the responses here have been pretty enlightening. Just goes to show we all struggle from time to time some just maybe more then others.
Since posting this I have come to realize I am doing better objectively then I have probably at any point in my life so why is it not enough? I don't have to worry to much about the basics like food, housing, transportation which is a blessing and better then I have had in most of my adult life. I still absolutely hate my current job stocking shelves but last week I put in an application with a vocational rehab service in my area.
They provide job training and help find employment for people with disabilities including mental. I have the first interview with them coming up on the 18th. I think I'm going to try and become a welder like my brother did. The cool thing about this service is they pay for the job training and you don't have to pay them back. I believe it's a state government program.
This brings me some hope that I will start heading in a direction of more sustainability and an actual career.
I'm still very much isolated and still haven't been doing good with talking to many people but I just keep trying to do what I can each day. Things are getting slightly better I suppose but I still feel very empty inside. I bought a drone a few months ago and I've only flown 30 hours so far. $900 drone and I've barely messed with it and I've have it probably 2 months now. Just shows the power of depression. I feel like I'm at a pivotal moment in my life where I'm either going to change everything for the better or I'm gonna lose the fight all together. Idk it's still hard to get through the day.
Idk I really hope this vocational rehab accepts me. Maybe it will give me some direction and I won't feel so stuck and stagnant and even better maybe I'll meet some people and break out of the pretty much complete isolation. At the end of the day though I'm the only one that can do anything and the only one that has to live with myself 24/7. I do recognize that I'm the problem. But for now I'll just keep putting one foot in front of the next and just doing whatever next task I have to each day. I just appreciate this community on MP even though I'm not very active on here. I try to be but idk I get distracted doing nothing. Sorry for the long ramble of my misery.
Since posting this I have come to realize I am doing better objectively then I have probably at any point in my life so why is it not enough? I don't have to worry to much about the basics like food, housing, transportation which is a blessing and better then I have had in most of my adult life. I still absolutely hate my current job stocking shelves but last week I put in an application with a vocational rehab service in my area.
They provide job training and help find employment for people with disabilities including mental. I have the first interview with them coming up on the 18th. I think I'm going to try and become a welder like my brother did. The cool thing about this service is they pay for the job training and you don't have to pay them back. I believe it's a state government program.
This brings me some hope that I will start heading in a direction of more sustainability and an actual career.
I'm still very much isolated and still haven't been doing good with talking to many people but I just keep trying to do what I can each day. Things are getting slightly better I suppose but I still feel very empty inside. I bought a drone a few months ago and I've only flown 30 hours so far. $900 drone and I've barely messed with it and I've have it probably 2 months now. Just shows the power of depression. I feel like I'm at a pivotal moment in my life where I'm either going to change everything for the better or I'm gonna lose the fight all together. Idk it's still hard to get through the day.
Idk I really hope this vocational rehab accepts me. Maybe it will give me some direction and I won't feel so stuck and stagnant and even better maybe I'll meet some people and break out of the pretty much complete isolation. At the end of the day though I'm the only one that can do anything and the only one that has to live with myself 24/7. I do recognize that I'm the problem. But for now I'll just keep putting one foot in front of the next and just doing whatever next task I have to each day. I just appreciate this community on MP even though I'm not very active on here. I try to be but idk I get distracted doing nothing. Sorry for the long ramble of my misery.
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2014
- Messages
- 17,918
- Reaction score
- 57,502
Just know that we're always here for ya, good times and bad.
greenscreen13
Well-Known Member
I really do appreciate the community here. I started on grass City way back from being a young teenager but I've completely jumped ship to here on passion.
Hang in there
It will get better take one day at a time, baby steps................
What was your handle on GC
Do you remember Heavn?
Similar threads
