Cook-a-thon with stinky: no-mold all natural pina colada gummy nibbles with metric measurements!

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stinkyattic

stinkyattic

her dankness
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Ain't it fun being stuck inside during a pandemic? Nothing to do but cook!

So.

I usually make chocolate or caramel using a butter base, but I got a fire lit under my tushie to branch out. My stepsister is out in Boston with a particularly nasty form of crohns, an expired California medical card, and the dispensaries are shut down for rec users. She's allergic to dairy and looking for soothing cannabis nibbles.

Time to try something new! I've been poking around teh interwebz and taking notes (and converting everything to metric, because seriously can we just not with cups and teaspoons and ounces and drams?! Also I'm a chemist and we are metric humans). I tried to get a sense of ratios of gelatin to liquid to sugars and standardize it for all y'all.

This recipe will make enough liquid to give a 1cm thick layer in the bottom of a 15x20cm pan. You will end up with about 300g of product, or about 300 1cm cubes, which you can either eat or use to build a small wiggly igloo.

I had one 20 minutes ago and just ate another. They definitely taste like pot and pineapple, with a hint of coconut and a bit of tartness. The recipe below can be adjusted for more or less of any of the juices/tincture carrier. You're gonna have to dose this yourself, because... how long is a piece of string?

Also, if you like a different flavor, just swap out the juices and keep the ratios the same. But this is good! And it is completely natural and dye free.

Disclaimer: I hate gummy jelly wiggly food of all types. These are tasty enough to get a pass.
 
I started months ago accumulating bits n pieces of bowl pack pickins in a pint mason jar. All that stuff that falls off when you're breaking down a bud... sugar leaf, tiny twigs, kief, all that. And jar shake. When the jar was full, I poured rum in to the top and stuck it in the fridge, where it has been sitting raking up space. Yesterday I tossed it in the sous vide at 200'f and left it there overnight, then strained out the rum. Dosing?! What's that? D4mned if I know, let's find out. It has been 30 minutes and 2 gummies and I feel niiice.
 
Equipment:
A scale. You have one, don't pretend.
A heavy small saucepan
An iron skillet (always! Every recipe!)
A small whisk or a large fork
A small brownie pan
Saran wrap
A small Tupperware that fits on your scale and won't max it out. If your scale only goes to 100g, you might have to weigh ingredients partially.
 
Ingredients, in order of appearance:
100g brown sugar
50g gelatin
150g TOTAL LIQUID. This includes your tincture. I used equal parts pot rum extract, the juice from a can of pineapple chunks, and Goya coconut milk. 50g each.
Weigh these out and put them in your little pan. Yeah it's gloppy. Let it rest about 10 minutes
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Put your cast iron skillet on the stove on lowest heat with your saucepan of goo on top. It needs to warm up to fully melt. Don't boil unless you are vegan and using agar, in which case use only about 40g.

When it is fully liquid, add:
150g corn syrup
5g lime juice
2g citric acid

About the citric acid. Don't skip it. This gives a little tartness that candy benefits immensely from. If you don't have any, use more lime juice. But it's cheap and readily available. I just grabbed some from work, where we buy 200 kilos at a go. It's certified ACS grade. I've seen the analytical on this batch... We use it for metal plating but yes it's edible. And it smells like orange tang.
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In the background, you can see my brownie pan lined with saran wrap. My phone tries to autocorrect to Satan wrap. This is not inaccurate... I hate the stuff. It sticks to the pan better if you spray the pan with pan spray first. Not the wrap. Just the pan, so you can smooth it out and it doesn't flop around.

Also, now I am high.
 
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Give it a few good swirls with the whisk and turn off the heat. You can pour it now, but if you want your gummies to be clear and pretty, let it sit until the foam comes to the surface, about 5 minutes. Swirl the pan gently to coax the foam into a glob, scoop it out, and throw it away.

Pour the mixture into the pan and put it somewhere cold to set. It only takes about a half hour.
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I like to toss the cut pieces in corn starch. The put those in a collander and shake off excess starch. That way they never stick together and i just keep them loose in a tupperware. No parchment needed
 
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