their leaving home ,,,,,,,,,

[rasta]

,,,,my children will be graduating high school in may and will be leaving for collage in two months one to the university of maine the other to the university of south florida (usf),,many times in the last two and a half years I have asked the members of this site for advice,,,as a parent sometimes you need advice from people out side your circle ,,,people who have a different non bias view of the situation ,,,the advice was great and helped a great deal (thanks)im just sitting here smoking a joint when it hit me that in 8 weeks my little girls will be gone ,,,,my job as a parent is over (in some ways )as a parent you try your best to rise them and pray you’ve do a good job ,,,my little girls are now beautiful young women ,,,im scared to let them go ,,what if I did not do a good job,,,,,Im gonna be broke for about the next 4 years ,,,,,they both need cars ,,insurance ,,,,thank god they both will get full pell and other grant to cover tuition and a few other things ,,,,many times over the last few years I was not sure if I would make it ,,almost had a nervous break down twice, raising young girls these days is hard on a father you feel you need to protect them from everything ,,,boys ,drugs ,sex a whole list of things ,,,,anyway sorry to ramble on like this but you guys are all I have to talk to ,,,,(my hart is breaking)the turn side of this is I will be getting two 12x10 bedrooms that will be emty ,,,,just think of the grow rooms I could make ,,,but the lady rasta says no,,,,will have too see about working on her about that ,,,,anyway thanks for listening as always PEACE,LOVE,RASTAFARI

 

[allgrownup]

I feel for ya, have two weeds of my own growing just as fast as my plants. My daughter is beautiful (6yrs old) and every kid around has proffessed their love for her, wants to marry her, etc. I can tell its going to be a royal pain. We've had to talk to other parents, for their kids harrassing, touching, kissing, wierd stuff for such young ages.

My son is brilliant and already has chosen a career path at 10 yrs old. he wants to be a commercial pilot. he flies with me and i encourage him in every way.

All i can say is, if you have two daughters, they've made it through all the trials of the public school systems, excelled in education, not been knocked up, recieved grants or scholarships, and have a good loving relationship with you, YOU HAVE DONE SOMETHING MAJORLY RIGHT!

That demands a great amount of respect and only a parent will appreciate the true meaning of those accomplishments.

Congratulations.......

One thing that may help or at least hit home the realization of just what a financial burden and sacrafice a college education is to a parent is to openly admit that you are in a financial predicament. a mentor of mine took this approach.

He drew 100 dots in a line on a sheet of paper. He then crossed off 14 dots on the paper and said "this is where you are in the life cycle". All the rest of these dots will depend on what you do with these. He circled the next 4 dots. This 4 dot area represents the begginning of a very large accomplishment(highschool education), the next 4 dots are the most important and he circled those(college). If you can excell in school outside of all the distractions for this short period of time, it would greatly reduce the burden of me being able to afford for you to choose where you'd like to spend the next great 4 years and obtain one of lifes largest accomplishements. The dots give a great visual representation of just how long those 4-8 dots will effect them. and how small a period of time they are in the larger picture.

Congrats, you are here.

Now daughter/son, i have a choice for you to make. I can help you pay for you education, but this will greatly hinder my ability to continue to add significantly to my nest egg i've been saving for my retirement. i will pay for your college education because i believe in you and your unwavering determination and ability to succeed, if you in return, will help me later in life with my retirement years. (don't even offer, "if i need your help". Make it a binding, understanding, agreement.")

or

You can pay for your own college, and i will expect nothing in return for your college experience from this day forward.

(Hopefully if they do make this choice they wouldn't, jerk around maybe not finish. THEIR PAYING FOR IT! WHY WOULD THEY? and if they did it would protect you from them jeopardising your families ability to live comfortably when your income stream ceases to exist in retirement........)


I think many parents don't do a good job reiterating the importance of the financial sacrafice that is made, and subsequently many kids enter college never to finish, or barely scate by. I think its more common in J.C.'s but important none the less.

good luck to ya Rasta, and you should be bragging about your kids in college to everyone you know in front of your children. I'm openly PROUD OF YOU AND YOUR WIFE!

 

[MJ20]

I know for sure that college isn't cheap.I can't comment as im not in both your shoes but as we get older, there are different things that we must learn to accept and move along with

 

[SmokinMom]

Hi rasta!

I'm sorry your heart is breaking. That has to be hard, sending your beautiful girls away to college. I think you should be proud that they are smart and independant. What great women they've become! They have you and their mom to thank for that. And just because they are leaving for college, they won't be forever gone. Keep their rooms like they are, so they still feel welcome when they come home.

Yea, I know. My kids are 9 and younger so I am not there yet. I am still at the phase where I wish they were going off to college so I could have a break. The grass is always greener on the other side, huh?

Maybe you could get a puppy.
I'll be thinking about you. Good luck!!!

 

[rasta]

thanks guys(mom)p,l,r

 

[Runbyhemp]

My little one is a few years away from moving yet but just glancing at his picture on the mantle piece, and imagining the day that will inevidently come brings a lump to my throat.

I feel for you, but hey, as others have said, you've done a good job !