The things kids say.....

[dragracer]

My grandkids were over for the weekend, I have a 4 year old boy and a 1 1/2 year old girl. We had a little bit of snow yesterday{ about 3 " } so all afternoon my grandson was bugiing me to take out the " pile truck" as he calls it to move snow...Since I don't do ANTHING in front of kids at all, while I was out warming up the " pile truck" I burned a doobie. Well we " piled " our area and went for a drive down the road and back. When we returned , my wife came downstairs and asked " what smells like dead pretzels? " Hell if I know , but She said he told her" The pile truck smells like dead pretzels inside". we both just laughed, but it is amazing what they come up with...

 

[ray jay]

Thats funny. Never smelled a dead pretzel before.

 

[legalize_freedom]

It's the live ones that that make gag...

 

[astrobud]

a long time ago in a galaxie far far away . one time my son, like 4 at the time, well i was holding him talking to a cop ( a big black guy )at a store one day and he asked the policeman why he had a gun, well the cop told him that he had two little ones at the house like he was and he diddnt want them to play with it and get hurt, my sons reply was ,HUH HUH, IM WHITE :holysheep: i dont know what he thought but his white partner was rofl, i felt about 2 feet tall. my son got it from his grandpa on my ex wifes side i guess, i know im not raciist

 

[PUFF MONKEY]

sounds like a strain name....dead pretzels....lmao...

 

[legalize_freedom]

or a punk band

 

[dragracer]

that is funny right there.....

 

[Heemhoff17]

Hahahahahahhahahahhahahhahahaha

Dead Pretzels????

Ahahahahhahahahhahahhhaha
:dancing::goodposting:

 

[warfish]

Thanks for sharing, dragracer That is very funny

 

[spaceface]

that is good....funny...dead pretzels in the ol' pile truck....lmao

 

[the chef]

Heres one fer ya, was working a catering job with the executive chef and his soux chef. At the end of work one day the soux chef's wife and 6 year old son came to pick him up and introductions soon followed. I met the young lad with a firm hand shake. He stated to his father that i was a big guy. I'm 6'1". The executive chef came out of his office shook hands with the mans wife and upon another firm handshake the young man was staring at the bosses neck looking puzzled. He then looked at his father and without missing a beat and proclaimed......"Daddy his neck isn't shaped like a pencil!" About a week later i advanced to the number 2 spot.

 

[ta2dguy]

kids are awesome and say the best things with complete innocence .

there are some pretty funny things here so i hope it is ok to toss another one in...

like my 10 year old daughter the lady gaga video for bad romance came on and i said how i had a crush on lady gaga and my daughter was nice enough to inform me that, and i quote her " at least you have a 50% chance daddy because she is bisexual you know" . what a laugh. i dont think i got much of a shot outta that remaining 50% either lmao.

 

[legalize_freedom]

Here is one. when I was married I had a pit bull terrier kennel, some of my female dogs, just by nature, would rather fight than let themselves be bred. I had borrowed an old dog from a friend in clevland that had an almost extinct bloodline, that I wanted to breed to one of my "crazy girls" to keep the bloodline for another generation.

Anyway the fem wanted no part of it even though she was in full blown heat. She just did not like other dogs. So we used duct tape around her muzzle, so that she couldn't bite this old stud dog, she kept tearing the tape off with her front paws, and my wife and I had about wore ourselves out trying to get this breeding to take place, using up almost a whole roll of duct tape. My daughter was around 4, and was watching this whole thing from the beginning, saw our frustration...looked at me as if I was the dumbest man on earth and says.............(like duh tone of voice) "well dad, if you'd just use dog tape instead of duck tape it would probably work"

She cracked us both up...at a time we were both getting a little ticked.

 

[astrobud]

that truly is funny lf

 

[loolagigi]

ok, we have a 5 year old and we have a few dogs. ones name is gigi.."loolagigi" and another one is loola. anyway, gigi gets called weenie by here mom and our 5 year old lil girl. gigi is fat, and one day the 5 year old said "come here, big fat weiner" we lost it.