Hey guys I wasn't fishing for compliments. I was just venting some of my frustration. YD, yes he is growing into a man. From the East Coast, Cali sounds like the land of opportunity with a chance to make a mark in this new business. There is a lot of press about all the new businesses and on IG or FB you see bud photos of some serious dank. No one really talks about what it takes to get there. Now I know what it takes, and so does my son. When he was at college, I had no real issues about him being away. I was in my comfort space with friends, family, and all the other trappings of security. It was easy. In Cali, I don't really have any of those things, so with him not here I would feel even more lost and alone than I already feel.
When I went thru the divorce, we were ordered by the court to submit to a complete psych eval. I later learned that my ex refused to cooperate and refused all the psych testing. I took all the tests and I show signs of social anxiety. I am not very comfortable around people and I don't always know what to do in social settings. The conclusion was it was partly the epilepsy, partly the way I was treated by those who knew I had epilepsy, and of course eating phenobarbital 3x a day keeps you a little out of it. It all makes me feel a bit isolated.