I wouldnt say you have rookie written all over you......you have "stoned " written all over you =), our minds think of the most obscure things when stoned, luckily thats the reason were all here....except for that one guy that grows for his wife but doesnt smoke.....none the less....i think it could work really well....year ago(they've since banned them because of a child strangulation hazard) they made these cheap throw away hammocks that you could find at walmart....they didnt last very long but they were inexpensive and made of one big net and they were dirt cheap.....i think that would work great......assuming i understood what you want to do.....but you might look online, maybe ebay....ive noticed they sell lots of stuff that you really wont find on the retail market....just an idea...