# real sex problem :(



## crozar (May 23, 2009)

Story Closed! :/


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## ArtVandolay (May 23, 2009)

IMO, your girlfriend is being manipulated by the mind control satellite.  You need to make her a tin foil hat and she needs to wear it all the time.  Hope this helps.


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## DLtoker (May 23, 2009)

Sounds great to me... Just don't talk to her afterward.  Do your thing, leave her be and then talk to her after her crazy period.


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## cubby (May 23, 2009)

It would seem you have more sex than brain function. If you found a woman who wants sex but does'nt want to talk or hang around afterwards, what the hell are you complaining about? Maybe she has an evil tongue because of your horrendous linguistic skills.


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## 4u2sm0ke (May 23, 2009)

This is a rediculus thread  and cant believe i fell for comeing in and reading..


try  googling  sexpassion.com


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## 4u2sm0ke (May 23, 2009)

ArtVandolay said:
			
		

> IMO, your girlfriend is being manipulated by the mind control satellite. You need to make her a tin foil hat and she needs to wear it all the time. Hope this helps.


 
This is the only post  i understood:rofl:

*Art*  you  make me laugh:bong:


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## NYC_Diesel x Jack_Herer (May 23, 2009)

You can find the answer here:

http://www.marijuanapassion.com/forum/showthread.php?t=42423


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## cubby (May 23, 2009)

4u2sm0ke said:
			
		

> This is a rediculus thread and cant believe i fell for comeing in and reading..


 


Awwww......come on now


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## crozar (May 23, 2009)

thanks for the advices guys


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## ArtVandolay (May 23, 2009)

NYC_Diesel x Jack_Herer said:
			
		

> TA-DA!!!!
> 
> Viking Helmet Style!



Now that's a real nice hat!  Shiny side out and everything .


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## nikimadritista (May 23, 2009)

I thought the thread was about a hermie 

Give her a spliff man! :rofl:


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## HippyInEngland (May 23, 2009)

Marijuana Passion.

eace:


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## cubby (May 23, 2009)

nikimadritista said:
			
		

> I thought the thread was about a hermie :rofl:


 


    It is


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## ozman (May 23, 2009)

Maybe thats why Im still single,to much DRAMA.


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## Hick (May 23, 2009)

hmmmm.. I'd just put her back in her stall and lock the gate..:confused2:
...


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## crozar (May 23, 2009)

thanks for the advices guys  really


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## cubby (May 23, 2009)

crozar said:
			
		

> i feel bad for her to leave me because im the first for her .


 


    And I'm the crown prince of Poland.........


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## natorious (May 23, 2009)

do it back to her. bust one off, then get up and go somewhere. dont say ****, just go. see how she likes it. or.... shut up and enjoy it!


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## natorious (May 23, 2009)

you could just punch her in the face.


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## cubby (May 23, 2009)

natorious said:
			
		

> you could just punch her in the face.


 


    Why on earth would you punch someone who's giving you sex?......unless that's you thing?


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## SPEARCHUCKER (May 23, 2009)

I am not getting something here. 
Are you saying, once your done, you have the ability to go directly to sleep?

I should be the one here complaining. Mine wont shut up, and wont go make me a sandwich.


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## zipflip (May 23, 2009)

> IMO, your girlfriend is being manipulated by the mind control satellite. You need to make her a tin foil hat and she needs to wear it all the time


 too funny art!!  LMAO



> It would seem you have more sex than brain function. If you found a woman who wants sex but does'nt want to talk or hang around afterwards, what the hell are you complaining about?


  thas wat im talkinbout cubby. isnt that a mans dream come tru tho? lol



> You can find the answer here:
> 
> http://www.marijuanapassion.com/foru...ad.php?t=42423


 really dig the hat bro lol



> hmmmm.. I'd just put her back in her stall and lock the gate


 now thats just wrong. funny as hell tho hick. hahaha



> Originally Posted by crozar
> i feel bad for her to leave me because im the first for her .


  if i had a dollar for every time i herd that one. or even the one "your the only one to ever get me off"  lmao really. but maybe  ya were tho who knows.   sorry not laffin at you crozar. its just all too funny this thread.
  never have i had so many laffs off one thread before on here. lol  thansk much for brightnein my day all.


> you could just punch her in the face


  now thats not that funy tho.   like cubby said. really why would ya punch someone who gives u sex and doesnt want a dinner an movie an to talk for hours an hours after wards. an all that.
  if ya ask me crozars got a good thing goin lol
   sorry i aint got no hilarious addition to it all.


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## kaotik (May 23, 2009)

so lemme get this straight.. after sex your girlfriend, instead of the usual "what are you thinking about?", rolls over and doesn't want to talk..
i fail to see the problem


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## mr.greengenes (May 23, 2009)

Crozar,

Are you having sex with your plants or channeling the sex life of your plants? I was hoping that this was a chronicle of a dialogue between two plants that chose to come out of the closet so to speak. Too bad you chose to downgrade this forum with your sexual shortcomings (which is most likely the root of your problems anyway). 
You'll find that many sheep become uncooperative when forced into bondage and lingerie.:holysheep: Yes, this thread is completely ludicrous. 

Mr.Greengenes


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## zipflip (May 23, 2009)

> Too bad you chose to downgrade this forum with your sexual shortcomings (which is most likely the root of your problems anyway).


  well, that was just harsh now


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## SmokinMom (May 23, 2009)

I think you need the book How To Make Love To A Woman.  To me, if she's unhappy then she didn't get satisfied, if you know what I mean.

And damn, I thought all men just rolled over and went to sleep after a good roll in the hay.


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## nvthis (May 23, 2009)

Get a grip, bro. If she isn't speaking to you after you 'do your thing' it's because technically, she can't. If you are really that butthurt for self confirmation or verification just pop open her air valve and give her a little 'squeeze'  

Also, guys... Lets give poor Cozar a break here... Unless she arrived with a *'Tested By'* sticker stuck on her a$$, it's possible he was her first...:confused2:


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## SPEARCHUCKER (May 23, 2009)

> And damn, I thought all men just rolled over and went to sleep after a good roll in the hay.



See! Now thats why SmokinMom is our MVP. A woman that knows how to shut up after. 

Im kiddin SmokinMom.


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## UKgirl420 (May 23, 2009)

*i agree why couldnt she of been his first ,,,,,every one has to start somewhere    only j/k crozar *


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## ArtVandolay (May 23, 2009)

nvthis said:
			
		

> Get a grip, bro. If she isn't speaking to you after you 'do your thing' it's because technically, she can't. If you are really that butthurt for self confirmation or verification just pop open her air valve and give her a little 'squeeze'
> 
> Also, guys... Lets give poor Cozar a break here... Unless she arrived with a *'Tested By'* sticker stuck on her a$$, it's possible he was her first...:confused2:



Now that's funny, I don't care who you are


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## tcbud (May 23, 2009)

And I thot all guys wanted you to bring them a six pack and a sandwich after....or was that turn into a six pack and a sandwich.....?
If you dont like sex, get another woman, one who does not like it as much as you.....from what I heard as a bartender there are GAZillions of women that way, NEVER once did I hear this complaint as a bartender.


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## TURKEYNECK (May 23, 2009)

Do I smell Papabeach?


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## HippyInEngland (May 23, 2009)

TURKEYNECK said:
			
		

> Do I smell Papabeach?


 
Lift an arm and sniff.

No need to ask Papa if you do 

eace:

Crozar, we are only sharing fun with you, do not take offence


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## tcbud (May 23, 2009)

SPEARCHUCKER said:
			
		

> I am not getting something here.
> Are you saying, once your done, you have the ability to go directly to sleep?
> 
> I should be the one here complaining. Mine wont shut up, and *wont go make me a sandwi*ch.


 
You see, the sandwich....never fails.....or as SM says, "rolls over and goes to sleep".


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## tcbud (May 23, 2009)

he does "sound like, write like", papabeach.


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## TURKEYNECK (May 23, 2009)

tcbud said:
			
		

> he does "sound like, write like", papabeach.


 :ciao: Is that you PaPa?


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## SPEARCHUCKER (May 23, 2009)

tcbud said:
			
		

> You see, the sandwich....never fails.....or as SM says, "rolls over and goes to sleep".




And whats wrong with a sandwich? If I just burned 5 good mins of energy doing all the work. I deserve to be refueled!
Im a old man for goodness sakes.


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## HippyInEngland (May 23, 2009)

Crozar is Not Papa.

Crozar eats dates and Papa eats cats.

eace:


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## mr.greengenes (May 23, 2009)

Let's settle this once and for all. I just had relations with Crozar's girlfriend and we enjoyed each other immensely. She wanted to know where NorCalHal got such a slimming/flattering photo of Crozar to use as his avatar. She also said that Crozar smells like a pig, is hung like a hamster and has fewer teeth than a backhoe bucket. It didn't help that she continues to walk in on Crozar when he's pleasuring himself to Livestock Illustrated magazine. 
It just goes to show you that there are two sides to every story.
Mr.Greengenes


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## crozar (May 23, 2009)

i appreciate the help =) ive managed to close this thread for my heart =)


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## mr.greengenes (May 23, 2009)

Hey Cromagnum man,

You must type funny because your knuckles scrape on the ground when you walk. She'll bust you, man, 'cause she's probably shacking with the constable too.


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## TURKEYNECK (May 23, 2009)

crozar said:
			
		

> my plan once my stash is ready i will stop sex and will wish her a good life and hope she dont fall into the evilworld of heartbreaks.


 All jokes aside, I hope you find your way buddy. Woman are confusing sometimes, you just gotta roll with the punches. Atleast she didnt hermie on ya


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## ArtVandolay (May 23, 2009)

Just _sometimes_, TN?


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## SmokinMom (May 23, 2009)

:giggle:


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## tcbud (May 23, 2009)

TURKEYNECK said:
			
		

> All jokes aside, I hope you find your way buddy. Woman are confusing sometimes, you just gotta roll with the punches. *Atleast she didnt hermie on ya*


 
I will drink to that......
maybe womens wouldnt be so confusing if they were LISTENED to sometimes.  Just kiddin', been with the Mr fifteen years, and now I answer my questions directed towards him.....and silence is assent in my book, or not.  I get confused too sometimes.


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## nvthis (May 23, 2009)

ArtVandolay said:
			
		

> Just _sometimes_, TN?


 
:rofl: Actually women are pretty predictable and not impossible to read. Once you excuse their individual personalities from the equation and get to the core of existance it's not unlike reading a plant (sorry gals, but us men fall under that exact same law as well). We are all predispositioned to react to stimuli with certain values. There are exceptions, but not as many as you might think.

Most women can comfortabley agree that whining, crushy, weak, wussy boys aren't what they want (really, just ask them) Women gravitate to strong, abrasive, brash & confident men. This isn't neccesarily by choice, but ingrained into our species. A women can settle for a man she can walk all over, but it likely will not satisfy her in the least and that relationship becomes a train wreck in the making. I don't make these rules, nor did I discover them but there has been an amazing amount of work, research and studies done to verify it.

Cozar, you're just gonna have to grow a backbone and take over being 'the man'. If you represent someone that doesn't offer any kind of challange to speak of, she's gonna get bored bro. When she gets bored, you're in trouble. You're gonna have to get some confidence going and tell her to kick rocks. If she comes back, you might be cool. If not? Oh well. Find something else, but you don't want to be the door mat forever do ya?

And if this has offended any of the ladies in the MP crowd, ...I dunno what to tell ya  'cept I haven't given away any secrets that cannot be easily found in a collegiate book or on the interent Love ya all...


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## HippyInEngland (May 23, 2009)

This is the tale of daniel morgan,
Who had a tiny electric organ,
His girlfriend sighed out a silent jeez,
And she put her hand on his tiny keys.

For it was one inch tall when fully reared,
Whilst laying down it disappeared,
He could slip his organ in any pocket,
It didnt touch the sides, so didnt block it.

Daniel often played with his organ alone,
Sometimes he would sigh, sometimes a moan,
He often held the base and he twinkled his key,
And with a tear in his eye, he smiled with glee.

For he liked his organ and the pleasure it gave,
He became a secret addict, a secret slave,
Now if yours is tiny, dont hide it away,
It still plays a tune, enjoy your day.

Hippy.



eace:


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## SmokinMom (May 23, 2009)

Omg Hie!  :rofl:


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## crozar (May 24, 2009)

lol hippy


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## tcbud (May 27, 2009)

better late than never, excellent HIE, and NV, you hit that nail right on the Head.


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## Six (May 27, 2009)

What you have got here is a perfect situation Crozar...lol...after she leaves break out the good **** and kick back....


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## IRISH (May 27, 2009)

i'm with nv, time to cowboy up. next time she comes over for a booty call, tell her she's to late, that you got tired of waiting, and called a pro to do her job. then close, and lock your door in her face. (if she's the psycho (sp?) type, do it through the locked door.) or as nv states, tell her to go kick rocks. then come back when she grows up.

btw, how old is shim?

and to you ladies, whats the harm in a six pack, and a ham and scheese sammy? a man needs some nourishment 'tween sessions.:hubba: .

you can't cater to 'em all crozar. sometimes you just gotta sit back, and let 'em bring the love to you. but man, do you realize the situation your in? kerr-slap. wam-bam thank you mam. let her show herself to the door, then make your own sammy, and get some MP time in.


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## PencilHead (May 28, 2009)

I've read thru this thread twice--can someone help me see what the problem is?  Seems like the perfect situation long as you don't have to sleep in the wet spot.


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## The Effen Gee (May 28, 2009)

My "Daddy Issue Radar" seems to be pinging a large object of the starboard bow.

Evasive Maneuvers Number Two!!


Sounds like this is the beginning of a huge, huge problem.


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## Mutt (May 28, 2009)

Only one song comes to mind when i read the first post.
hxxp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kIZeVoRBuU
Sounds like your a booty call. All in how much self esteem ya got. If your in it for the fun. Go with it, but if you are going to want more...best to move on. IMO. If they are issues prolly get worse. Your call, sounds like your both young and getting to know the human condition. We are all screwed in the head


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## crozar (May 28, 2009)

thanks for the advice


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## tcbud (May 28, 2009)

Yep, I understand, but I had the opposite problem, back in the day.....
First bf, he was a Jesus Freak (anyone remember them?) loved Jesus, loved me.  After lovin me, well.....swore he would put that "behind" him and stop the sex part of relationship, well that didnt work for long (he was young man remember).  Very confusing to a young female, as I am sure it is for you.
Maybe she is feeling guilt for doing this act of Sex and guilt for liking it so much.  Just a couple of ideas for you.  I have no idea of your background, sex is kinda frowned on if your not married in some cultures, for religous reasons.  I do know, once I tasted the forbidden fruit, I just got hungrier.


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## crozar (May 28, 2009)

you gave me a dejavu  thanks tcbud i know now the answer =) yes culture and religion is the key of thiss , she was a good girl i got her hungrier and she hates me for it , i need to quicken the marriage lol


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## SPEARCHUCKER (May 28, 2009)

I understand crozar.
You get her all wound up. She closes her eyes and is thinkin bout that DeCaprio guy.
Then she opens her eyes after and sees you there.
Id be mad too. :rofl:


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## tcbud (May 28, 2009)

Whoa crozar (westerners say Whoa meaning stop). Marriage should *not* be entered into just to have sex.....
Really.
Religion and culture aside, you got to have a *stable liking *for each other at the least.


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## IRISH (May 28, 2009)

^:rofl: :joint4: you ain't right Spearchucker, and i like it. ...


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## Six (May 28, 2009)

LMAO spear....thats not nice


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## Shockeclipse (May 28, 2009)

Maybe she wants sex, but it reminds her of the time uncle bob and her played doctor?


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## Yoga (May 29, 2009)

Forget religion or culture or marriage...
Make a woman feel sexy and desirable and then make her scream her head off and she'll come back for more...happily.  I don't know any woman who gets mad after good sex.  But a lot who fake it and get mad after bad.  Maybe she is coming back to see if it's gotten any better.

Here is an amazing idea...ASK HER what is wrong?  Ask her what you can do? Figure out what she needs and give it to her.  And if it doesn't work and you still feel bad.  DUMP HER!  You're young and life is too short.


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## ArtVandolay (May 29, 2009)

Yoga said:
			
		

> Forget religion or culture or marriage...
> Make a woman feel sexy and desirable and then make her scream her head off and she'll come back for more...happily.  I don't know any woman who gets mad after good sex.  But a lot who fake it and get mad after bad.  Maybe she is coming back to see if it's gotten any better.
> 
> Here is an amazing idea...ASK HER what is wrong?  Ask her what you can do? Figure out what she needs and give it to her.  And if it doesn't work and you still feel bad.  DUMP HER!  You're young and life is too short.



Yeah, you could try the common sense approach .  I don't recommend it, though .  It's just as unpredictable as any other.


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## crozar (Sep 7, 2009)

i left her , she ruined my agenda brain of my life , i dont know why i care alot but i hope this thing leaves my heart because it puts me in depression.


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## ArtVandolay (Sep 7, 2009)

The collective wisdom of the MP stoners has never been more apparent than it is in this thread .  You're welcome for all that great advice, we're here to help!


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## purplephazes (Sep 7, 2009)

Gee i have only just found this thread and i realise that you are having quite a dilemma Crozar ! Do you know if she has a sister ? And yup what Art said !


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## crozar (Jul 10, 2011)

updating .....its been 2 years 

( getting married soon ) =) i invite all the loved ones to my wedding btw and bring ur relatives with u , probably the loved ones in this forum will find their matches and soon we will be a legit family of the MJP =)


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## Locked (Jul 10, 2011)

crozar said:
			
		

> updating .....its been 2 years
> 
> ( getting married soon ) =) i invite all the loved ones to my wedding btw and bring ur relatives with u , probably the loved ones in this forum will find their matches and soon we will be a legit family of the MJP =)



Congrats crozar...I hope life treats you well.


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## ArtVandolay (Jul 10, 2011)

Way to go, crozar!  Congrats and good to see you again!


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## Irish (Jul 12, 2011)

now your officially screwed!


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