# I dont really know how to say this....but



## trillions of atoms (May 27, 2008)

My little sister died of a herione overdose today. i told my friends on 420g the news just a minute ago. and since the shout here is gone i must post on it.

please dont tell me your sorry, because it is nobodys fault here. i dont need condolances or sympathy. all i ask is that tonight- as you lay in bed. please think of stephanie and ask god to let her in to his heart. she has made tough decisions in her life and this one was the ultimate. please pray for her sake....

even if you dont believe in heaven or hell- pray that she will find her way. ive got alot going on in my life now so i ask that you learn from her mistake. hard drugs never pay off....


RIP steph

12/08/89- 05/27/08

you will be forever on my mind girl


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## CasualGrower (May 27, 2008)

Hey Toa....I will pray for your sister..... You have my condolences bud....... If there is anything, anything that  I can do... just let me know...   I am pretty sure that most here oin this forun will feel the same way, dont hold it in.... let it out on those who you trust/beleive in...



 I lost my mom about 2 months ago and it was the hardest thing that ev er happened to me...  if ya need a ear to let loose on.. just PM me.... I am on here just about every day..

take care, and be there for the rest of family...

I am not sure what else to say atm........... If ya need  to vent/talk/chat/work things through  with... Just holler..


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## shortybighead (May 27, 2008)

thats a shame,so young.....RIP


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## snuggles (May 27, 2008)

I know you don't want to hear it so I won't say it but you are a good guy and anything you need just ask....I believe in neither heaven nor hell but I believe in life continuing my mother went somewhere and it's a good place, your sister will make it too ToA. 

We love ya dude if you need anything just say honest.


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## Aurora_Indicas_Dad (May 27, 2008)

r.i.p to your sis brother.you got my prayer.i know all about losses,i lost my grandma,my cousin,and my son all in a year.death is one of the worst things in life  to go through.i've done heroin a few times and i cant stand it everytime,i puked and passed out.i've lost alot of close friends from it
and crack and this is one of the reasons i stick to my herb. good luck with everything, let god be with you and your fam-peace man


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## smokybear (May 27, 2008)

RIP Stephanie. My prayers are out to you and your family. I hope that you will find strength in the fact that there are many people that care about you and your family. Your pain is our pain my friend. May God come and lend a hand to help carry you and your family through these trying times. Take care and be safe my good friend..


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## trillions of atoms (May 27, 2008)

i just sat down and wrote this as it came to me. a quote from the script...

DEATH



just the sound of the word is enough to make you shiver. The sound reverberates louder than any "hate" word we know today. you can scream all the names in the book at the top of your voice through a megafone and it never have the impact or the meaning to a word even whispered like the word dead. Able to move mountians and sway forrests with a single  mutter this word. Is it the "death" we are scared of or is it just the unknown after? like the feeling of being stripped of your blankie when your a rugrat. that allmighty protection used to sheild wars, yet is soft enough to chew on for hours. This word has moved my life like so many others...so many times. you think i would be use to the fact that death happens like ****...except you cant get rid of deaths stink. the subject of it seeps into every pore...every cell of your existance. you carry it with you forever. 

it doesnt help to be mad at it, it doesnt help to cry over it. it doesnt even feel real once it strikes. but the most real part about death....is your life after this death. how the subject may strike one person by the skin of their eyelids and seem to sheen off unnoticed....others it strikes to the core. emotionally- as deep as you let it. the tough even cry. ive noticed the things that move me are things i cannot chage after the deed is done...yet as hard as i try these things occur continously as my life progresses. and then i get scared because i cannot undo the past. or at least do things differently than i did...


but with the next breath i feel im getting deeper and deeper into the unknown. so...much...uncertianty. This has kept me awake for years. and now faced with another and another....i must live on. i must try and learn everyday how to change for the better. because if i dont i just might end up an uncertianty.

Death doesnt scare me, not being here the moments after my death is what scares me. The next breeze i cant enjoy. the next sunset i wont see so maticously painted for me that one last night. the next spider that carwls across my tomatoe plants. im not scared to "die" and become one with the earth agian....ohh no. im ready for that. but i am scared i wont be here those extra moments id miss here with my family and friends. id be scared for them to have to see me go. to have to live without knowing what i, would only then know.

I know i cannot change the past.....but I will change the future.

RIP stephanie 12/08/89- 05/27/08

thank you for you time...



 I sit here now and I still cant believe its real.


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## snuggles (May 27, 2008)

You may not even know it but what you wrote hits me too man...it's too true. I am going through the death of someone close to me to this day almost 1.5 years later. It's made me what I am today, and it's going to be shaping me for much more of my life. It's going to be a weird ride my friend and it's going to dump you somewhere unexpected. I can tell by the type of person you seem to be and by the last line in your initial post

*hard drugs never pay off....




you will be forever on my mind girl* 

You ever need to talk to anyone I would also like to offer my PM to you....I still need to talk about it too. Many of us do my friend, like I said it will change you and not all in bad ways. I hope I didn't overstep my boundaries but that last post is so true. Take care of the family my friend and just go with the flow.


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## Timmyjg6 (May 27, 2008)

Hay bro, these are such harsh times, losing loved ones at such young ages... To lose someone so close to you is hard and all you can think about is what you have lost. But instead, just try and remember them for there beauty's, and for all the times they helped you... And anytime you feel down its best to talk to someone... Your sister will be on my mind.... 

RIP stephanie


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## Bella420 (May 28, 2008)

You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers...


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## Cali*Style (May 28, 2008)

TOA, Keep your head up brother. I know first hand how you feel, I lost my BEST friend to this crap 3 years ago. Not a sister, but a brother. Anyway, If you need anything man, please let me or one of us know. You got to deal with this your own way, but dont let it get the best of you man. If you need to talk... Then talk.

You are around good people here friend.

She will be in my thoughts and prayers, as will your family.

Stay strong friend, she is in a better place.


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## The Effen Gee (May 28, 2008)

well...at least some of us are at peace now...


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## THE BROTHER'S GRUNT (May 28, 2008)

*TOA that is some sad news. We don't do much praying here but we will be thinking of you and your family. If you need anything or someone to chat with just give a yell mang were all here for ya.  *


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## Runbyhemp (May 28, 2008)

I lost a brother a few years ago too. Stay strong man. If there's anything I can do, just give me a shout


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## annscrib (May 28, 2008)

so sorry toa to hear about ur sis, i had a friend that lost not one but 2 of her siblings to this same drug the sister overdose 1st then not 2 months later her brother overdose and it was all over them darn patches,,,, so i will be thinking of ur sis hun..... just keep ur head up


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## godspeedsuckah (May 28, 2008)

Prayers going out my friend.


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## Dubbaman (May 28, 2008)

How does one express the pain that you may feel?
As this pain is so great and you try so hard to conceal.
This pain you endure when a loved one has died;
Tears away at your heart as the loss seems magnified.

You know your loved one is now with the Lord;
but this was still someone that you truly adored.
The pain is indescribable, it is something beyond belief.
Nothing can compare, as it is an inconsolable grief.

How does one express the feeling of suffocation?
You suddenly realize this is an emotional confrontation.
What does God give us in the way of consolation?
He eases our pain with the Holy Spirit as this was His proclamation.

Although our loved one has gone home to be with the Lord;
It is hard to believe that they have come to their final reward.
There is an emptiness knowing this loved one has really gone;
They have faded away like the stars of a brand new dawn.

There is fulfillment in knowing that our life is only temporary;
Jesus paid the price on the cross and we are the beneficiary.
Our Lord has told us He will be with us to the very end;
We need only to love Him as He is truly our best friend.



Our prayers go out to you and your family in this time of loss, be strong in faith and belief in the Lord and you will be reunited in the sure to come.


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## trillions of atoms (May 28, 2008)

thanks guys, i really appreciate it alot- i cried my eyes out on the phone with my father last night...and i still dont feel right. i dont think it has really hit me yet. and i really dont want it to. idk i feel wrong for surviving her?

im just so torn.


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## trillions of atoms (May 28, 2008)

i still cant believe this is happening


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## tcooper1 (May 28, 2008)

I the first thing I want to say is I am sorry but I know how you feel about not wanting to here"I am sorry" but I do not know what else to say.....Loss of a loved one is so hard.My mom killed her self 10 yrs ago...It was the hardest thing I have ever went though.....so I feel bad that you are going though the ugly of a loss.I do not believe in heaven or hell but I will keep you and your family in my thought and my prayers...Your sister will find her way.Also TOA plaese dont hold it in......it will eat you up if you do.   RIP lilltle sister


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## tcooper1 (May 28, 2008)

trillions of atoms said:
			
		

> thanks guys, i really appreciate it alot- i cried my eyes out on the phone with my father last night...and i still dont feel right. i dont think it has really hit me yet. and i really dont want it to. idk i feel wrong for surviving her?
> 
> im just so torn.


God took your sister for a reason......


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## Aurora_Indicas_Dad (May 28, 2008)

i hope things are easing up a little for you. (even though i doubt they are)
it will take quite some time to get over and then even after that it'll still always be in the back of your mind. (i think about the death of my son almost constantly) i know you probably dont wanna hear anything about that crap but i'm gonna tell you anyway just cuz what i'm bout to tell you could save alot of people that are into that stuff.
your sister is about the tenth person this year i've heard of dying of that crap...i heard from a co worker last night that there was supposenly a lethal batch of that crap goin around here (u.s.) if you know anybody else doin that crap,let them know...hopefully it will make them think twice.that drug is no joke.it wasnt around the county i live in til about 8 yrs ago..now the small towns around here are infested with it.its so sad to see all the younger people into it. i had you and your  sis on my mind all night after hearing that and i just wanted to see how you were today. -Take care Bud


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## kubefuism (May 28, 2008)

Much love Trillions... We are all here for you.  She will be in my prayers.


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## Flyinghigh (May 28, 2008)

Wow I will lay in bed and pray for her tonight TA !
I know what hard drugs will do, done it, and at the end,  my using meth I was Loooking for my Last Fix and I mean LAST and I couldn't never get enough to end it all and I guess God had his hand on me to find her..


Here a question for U and all????
If ur neighbor is selling drugs and u know they r hard drugs and those that come around looks Flakey and u get worried about ur stuff and one day u come home to find u be riped off..  

U speck ur neighbor drug activety so what would u do?


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## Aurora_Indicas_Dad (May 28, 2008)

my $.02 is
i dont really know what your to do but definitly never mess with someone thats dealin that crap,people crave that stuff so bad that he could easily have one of them try to do somethin,and the sad part is most of his people would do it for a $5 pack.if your tired of all the crazy people and what not bein around your house,make an anonymous call to the donut lovers...they steal peoples stuff they have outdoors around here (grills,bikes..you name it)i think theres a big difference between a person dealin weed,and a person dealin that crap.people will do anything for that crap. just be careful. i dont and would never consider myself as a snitch but honestly, I CANNOT STAND THE STUFF and if i had heroin heads and crack heads on my side of the block,i'd do anything to get rid of em. expecially if i was tryin to grow some herb in my house.hes just makin your street hot man. anyways,theres my $.02


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## BBFan (May 28, 2008)

TOA-  May you be granted the strength to get through this.  Rest in Peace Little Sister.


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## billy_fyshe (May 28, 2008)

very sad
only a child really
shes sleeping now
its worse for the family left behind
you gotta be strong for your parents
its so wrong to see your kids go before you
wish you all the best TOA


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## The Effen Gee (May 28, 2008)

tcooper1 said:
			
		

> God took your sister for a reason......



Comments along these lines can be more damaging than helpful.

Last thing I wanted to hear about after my loss was anything to do with "God's" ""Plan"".

TOA...I know you live close to me...don't hesitate to contact me for any reason. Beer, Hug, shoulder to cry on...whatever you need.


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## SmokinMom (May 28, 2008)

Oh wow TOA I am so sorry to hear about your little sister.  

I lost my dad 6 months ago, he was my everything and I miss him everyday.

Here's a poem that Marp showed me, it was really nice I thought.
----------------------------------------

http://www.wowzone.com/death.htm

Death Is Nothing At All

Death is nothing at all
Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped away
into the next room.

I am I, 
and you are you;
whatever we were to each other, 
that, we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name,
speak to me in the easy way
which you always used,
put no difference in your tone,
wear no forced air
of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we shared together.
Let my name ever be
the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect, 
without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all
that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is unbroken continuity.

Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you,
for an interval, 
somewhere very near,
just around the corner.

All is well.

-----------------------------------------

If ya need me, I'm here too.  *hugs*


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## FruityBud (May 28, 2008)

May the blessing of light be on you
light without and light within.
May the blessed sunlight shine on you
and warm your heart
till it glows like a great peat fire.

RIP Stephanie


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## trillions of atoms (May 28, 2008)

thanks guys. love yall.


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## smokybear (May 28, 2008)

Me and my family will pray for you and yours tonight and we hope that you find your way. Take care and be safe my friend. 


A human life is precious, not meant to be thrown away.
When it happens, it makes you say "Why would you take them away?"
Just know that he has his reasons for taking her from you.
I'm sure he feels the same pain just as you and I do. 
The pain and loss is terrible, I know it hurts deep inside.
It's happened to me before, I just cried and cried.
Dont wallow in the misery, It will only make it worse.
Dont let it follow you around, don't let it be your curse.
You will make it through this, he will make sure of it.
Rely on your friends and family, just promise to never quit.
We'll all say a prayer for you and yours tonight.
And God above will hear it, in all its wondrous might. (DJG 2008)
RIP Stephanie


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## tcooper1 (May 28, 2008)

The Effen Gee said:
			
		

> Comments along these lines can be more damaging than helpful.
> 
> Last thing I wanted to hear about after my loss was anything to do with "God's" ""Plan"".
> 
> TOA I am sorry if I made it worse by saying that...I ment no harm


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## trillions of atoms (May 28, 2008)

coop- its all good....


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## Melissa (May 29, 2008)

*RIP stephanie,,,,,,,eace: 


*


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## Dizzy (May 29, 2008)

she was young 18?? im not good with math lol thats a shame man did you know she was doing it??? i have a buddy overdosed on morphine feel out the back of a boat oh most died paramedics saved him he was dead tho for a little bit hes lucky man i fell for you man both my grandmothers died last summer of cancer was a rough summer............. take it easy peace


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## slowmo77 (May 29, 2008)

Sorry to hear about your loss. Many prayers to you and your family.


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## Barrelhse (May 29, 2008)

My 19 yr old daughter is on junk; it's killing us as we await the inevitable result.


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## Dadgumit (May 29, 2008)

Hey man, I just wanted to extend my best to you and all those close this sad situation and I will say a prayer for everyone involved to find comfort and peace.  So many feel the weight of the sorrow around you and we're all here to help you carry it.  Talk as much as you want - or don't talk at all - do what you need to do to take care of yourself.  Be at peace Stephanie...there is much love where you are.


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## matt420lane (May 29, 2008)

Sir my hart go's out to you in so many ways !! life is some thing we take for granted, we should think about the good times in life, love and let live!!
  The let live part is for you ...try not to think about the bad but LIVE with her in your hart... we live under a god of mercey TOA and she will find her way in to the fathers arms!!!

I went to a war that started after 911....young I went off in to the army through my time in I saw lots of lives lost for reasons that were not mine!!
all most 7 years later to come home to having lost my wife and 2 kids do to 
a 18 wheeler runing them over on a off ramp!!! I say this to remind you that NO god could ever PLAN on doing this to US!!!  why this happens i will never know, but was real mad at god for a long time!! TOA life can be lost in more than one way...dont spend to much time on thinking what if's and what could have bins.......just my advice to you sir

you and your parents are in all of are prayers 

matt


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## The Hemp Goddess (May 30, 2008)

My younger sister died of a Vicodan/Soma OD in February.  Although she was middle aged, I grieved over the waste of it all--a life snuffed out before its time.  My thoughts are with you. 

I found some comfort in the following poem.  I do not know who wrote it.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there.  I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow;
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain;
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am swift uplifting rush 
Of quiet birds in circled flight.  
I am the soft star that shines at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there.  I did not die.


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## The Effen Gee (May 30, 2008)

Painkillers are scary.

I hope you and the fam is pulling through this with your heads above water.

Respect.


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## trillions of atoms (May 30, 2008)

her wake is today... pray for me i will need it.


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## snuggles (May 30, 2008)

Will do, was thinking about you this morning...I also thought maybe some of us with gardens could plant something for her and the many of other loved ones that we have lost. Many people here who have lost loved ones so know that you are not alone ToA, I know I'm not. Just make sure you take care of yourself and your family. My condolances once again. I promise I will bow my head for a bit and think of your sis. 

And ToA we all understand guilt, it's normal but you gotta let it go man...it'll eat you up if you let it (saw you say that in an earlier post). It's hard to be a big bro right now I'm sure but if it means anything I know most of us here think the world of you, you are good people and I'm sure your little sister is very proud to have you as a brother, honestly my friend.


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## Timmyjg6 (May 30, 2008)

Good luck man... Wakes can be a very hard, depressing moment.. But some say its the biggest part of death, to accept that they are gonna and remember them for the good.... I say, get everything out there where every one is at and where everyone knew and loved your sis... Just get it all out....


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## someguy (May 30, 2008)

stay strong bro


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## The Hemp Goddess (May 30, 2008)

Timmyjg6 said:
			
		

> Good luck man... Wakes can be a very hard, depressing moment.. But some say its the biggest part of death, to accept that they are gonna and remember them for the good.... I say, get everything out there where every one is at and where everyone knew and loved your sis... Just get it all out....



Wakes shouldn't be a hard depressing thing.  Wakes can and should be a celebration of the person's life.  A time when loved ones get together, sharing happy, special memories and drawing strength from each other.  It's the final goodbye.  But things take a long time to sink in.  Time is the healer.

My thoughts are with you and your family.


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## HippyInEngland (May 30, 2008)

TOA

If tomorrow starts without me
One thing you need to know
I became a better person
An un-blossomed flower,you let grow

You need to know how much I care
The fun you gave to me
The silly comments spoke in jest
As I forgot idiosyncraticy

In bright daylight,the sun turned dark
We got lost in each others word
Nothing around us existed
Past pain was expertly blurred

The raging seas in full chaotic anger
The thunder booms is rage
The cosmic destruction of a star
Has no comparison of your sage

Dont shed a tear if I dont wake
You gave me happy times
My body failed, its not your fault
It happens ..... sometimes

I am not here but feel your love
From a place so far from you
Dont let the fate that took my breath
Take you breath from you too

Hippy​
I could offer to help you, I could offer anything I think you want to hear, but in reality I can do nothing apart from give you a brothers love, I dont believe in an after life, if it gives comfort to others, then so be it, I will not pray, but I will keep you in my thoughts.


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## That crazy vancouver guy (May 30, 2008)

I'm there for ya, bro.

I feel pain with you.


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## sportcardiva (May 30, 2008)

ill pray for you toa i hope you and your family are doing ok


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## Dadgumit (May 30, 2008)

To you, your family, and Stephanie - SALUTE! (a toast with honor)


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## BBFan (May 31, 2008)

Hey TOA- good to see you around the boards the past couple of days after such a devastating tragedy.  There's a lot of love on these boards going out to you and your family.  Stay strong- keep faith.


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## trillions of atoms (May 31, 2008)

the wake was yesterday and there were over 300 of her friends there. we think the ppl that left her for dead were there as well but it is under investigation currently. we are trying to retrieve her phone records because the ppl that gave her a ride to get the drugs left her to die at a gas station and took her cell phone. whoever is invovled i will find out if its the last thing i do....


 the funeral is today.


this is a real nightmare is all i can say.


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## SmokinMom (May 31, 2008)

Hang in there TOA.  *hugs*


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## snuggles (May 31, 2008)

trillions of atoms said:
			
		

> the wake was yesterday and there were over 300 of her friends there. we think the ppl that left her for dead were there as well but it is under investigation currently. we are trying to retrieve her phone records because the ppl that gave her a ride to get the drugs left her to die at a gas station and took her cell phone. whoever is invovled i will find out if its the last thing i do....
> 
> 
> the funeral is today.
> ...


 
Man ToA please promise us to be smart, I know I can get fired up but think. it is a good thing as these kids need to learn a lesson just be smart. Your family needs you. 300 people wow ToA sounds like she was special to alot of people. And I planted a nice little perrenial for her and put it in my moms memorial garden. I hope you don't mind but it's my way of saying I kinda know your brother and it makes me hurt....I will take a photo for you once it stops raining. It's a really pretty Whirling Butterfly bush and it will come back every year. Best of luck and you are a good man remember that before you act...listen to me trying to be the level head but I mean it be careful my friend.


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## Sebstarr (Jun 2, 2008)

When god closes your eyes, he does so only to open them to see his light... It makes me shudder sometimes, with all the wasted lives that things like heroin can take in its grasp, and then drag another life down with it. 

When you do things like this, sometimes you make the ultimate sacrifice. TOA, i only wish that wherever she is, she knows that whatever happens, there will be people who care about her, always have and always will.

I will pray for her, and, while i sit here in my comforted and securer life, I'll think of her, and those people out there that really should be thought of. 

When the cold finally grips you and takes you away, you can only get warmer. When she gets to her destination, He will make her smile, and leave her in a place where she can find happiness, and not even the darkness can touch her, but the light can guide her.


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## trillions of atoms (Jun 15, 2008)

i havent even posted this because i have just gotten time to really sit and gotten stoned to where i can manage to type....

my dog suki was put down right before i went out of town. she had adisions disease "from what the vet told me" after thousands of dollers in steriod shots and medicine. she stopped eating like usual over a yr ago and got so bad she couldnt walk to get up to go outside to go potty. i have had to carry her outside for over a yr to get her to pee n **** in the same spot. i noticed this along time ago....once a feeble animal able to jump fences could no longer "search" the yard for a suitible place to lay a duke.

this has discouraged me for months but i persisted to walk her frequently and take her out in the car.

all of this did nothing but further her pain. i tried to medicate but believe the lesions she was encountering on her body and not healing as cancer....


she was just 8 yrs old....


i mourn my loss throughout the years almost everyday and it has yet to be demolished from my memory. i wish i could sleep without my mind in overdrive, processing everything ive encountered over the years and this isnt a good thing. but i have to assume this is all a "learning expierence".



and its hard!  

anyway thanks everyone for the kind words i will try and continue my path of *existance* for as long as possible....


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## sportcardiva (Jun 15, 2008)

i really like that poem you did toa


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## snuggles (Jun 15, 2008)

trillions of atoms said:
			
		

> i havent even posted this because i have just gotten time to really sit and gotten stoned to where i can manage to type....
> 
> my dog suki was put down right before i went out of town. she had adisions disease "from what the vet told me" after thousands of dollers in steriod shots and medicine. she stopped eating like usual over a yr ago and got so bad she couldnt walk to get up to go outside to go potty. i have had to carry her outside for over a yr to get her to pee n **** in the same spot. i noticed this along time ago....once a feeble animal able to jump fences could no longer "search" the yard for a suitible place to lay a duke.
> 
> ...


 
Trust me it is a learning esperience, time will  dull the pain a bit but it will always hurt...love is hard ToA but the more you hurt the more you love. You have a good heart may you find a way to deal with the pain...mind overdrive and some maniac behavior are normal. Just remember she is proud of you and like I said it may change your life and you may go down a different path than you always thought you would but that isn't a bad thing IMO, it's tough and I wish we could help you more in this time just keep your head up and eventually the mind will clear and you may see things like you never have before, we learn from our loved ones even in death. She is at peace my friend.

I also know what it is like to lose a pet...it sucks, just remember the dog had a better life with you than without. One day at a time. I hope you have family with you cause you all need each other, a brother's love is very strong and I'm sure you are a good brother I can tell.

If you have any hobbies now is the time to get lost in them, for the first year I slept almost never but I kept busy, if you are in overdrive you need something. Good luck and my PM is always open to you...may you find some peace soon.


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## Kupunakane (Jun 15, 2008)

Damn Trill,
 You made me cry, it is something I rarely do.
You said, "Don't say your sorry" OK, I understand that bro, but I'm sorta dumb as a rock, and really don't have magical words to replace the sentiment with.
 I hurt for ya bro, and I may be just an old man, but I have grown to care for ya dude. Your hurt is pain for all of us too.
 I'm not great with lots of smooth words, but I sure know how to listen well, and I'm there if ya need to let some stuff out bro.
 I am a good judge of character, and I think your cool,  I don't know what to say to you that might take some of your pain dude, but you are cared for too.

All of our Love towards you and yours,
and yes, it would be a privilege to pray for your sis as well as you.


smoke in peace
KingKahuuna


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## HippyInEngland (Jun 15, 2008)

Life is not easy, as children we are protected from it, as adolescents we are aware of it and as adults we often taste its sour pill, I feel TOA's pain deeply as I would feel it as I would with my own, a candle burns with brilliant light, but the wick is only able to keep alive if the wax melts evenly, sometimes the wax does not melt evenly and the wick is extinguished, I wont go into detail but my daughters wick was extinguished on my birthday and my mothers on Christmas day, both days I could never forget, but also both on days of celebration, I always find time to mourn in private on those days, but also realise life goes on and I was blessed to know the people who had a short wick, TOA, memories never fade, the hurt does if your willing to change how you remember the person with love, and not remember her with anger of what happened, You like I, felt the horror, I understand what your feeling.


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## SativaWeed (Jun 15, 2008)

TOA, your sister and your pup will live in your memory for the rest of your days and they will never age. Forever they'll be young in your heart and mind. Every time you think of them it will most often be something that made you smile or laugh. Keep _these_ memorys in the forefront of your mind and the pain will ease sooner than you could think possible. You may feel a void now, but you can fill it with the love and thoughts of those who've stepped into the next journey of existance.
 They'll both be there, waiting, watching and loving you untill you are all reunited on the other side of this plane of reality. Peace and love TOA. 
Keep yer chin up , OK?


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## KGB30 (Jun 15, 2008)

GOD ALWAYS HAS HIS DOOR OPEN. Just remeber onething no one can hurt her any more because God has her safe.


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## IRISH (Jun 15, 2008)

TOA, wow brother, iv'e been away a few weeks, been on board last few days', and i come across this. gotta keep on keeping on toa. through these painful moments, and troubled times bro, is where your going to emotionally grow. i've seen my share of loss, my thoughts , and all of my families are with you bro.


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## N1XONâ¢ (Jun 15, 2008)

same here been away for a month.. i feel for you bro and ill be sure to pray for her.. if you need to talk im here bud


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## [email protected] (Jun 16, 2008)

too sad to many died young... ive had some of my closest high school freinds follow the same train only 2 places it take ya dead or in prision. i feel ya man i aint gona say i pray though but i will say this the good die young... RIP steph


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## Thorn (Jul 24, 2008)

i am so sorry i dont come on here all that often so am just apologising for not having known about this until now. May your sister rest in peace and have a better time in the life beyond. It is so sad when people die before their time. I wish you and your family, TOA, all the best from here on out.

Thorn.


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## downtown (Jul 24, 2008)

god bless!


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