# Maybe a little prayer...



## Hackerman (May 23, 2016)

...for my Mom.

She's 90 and as young as any 40 year old. She drives, lives alone in a well kept condo, parties 4 or 5 nights a week, give bridge parties..... all the way around, a total picture of health. Never a problem. Never even an ache or pain (until the past couple years when she started complaining about the pains I had when I was 40). LOL

We talk at least once a day and she calls me every night at 11:00 just to let me know she's OK and we talk about whatever for a few minutes before she heads to bed (what kind of 90 year old stays up until 11:00-11:30 every night??? LOL

I didn't get to talk to her Sunday because my band did a benefit for ALS and it lasted all day and most of the night. But, I was home before 11 to grab her call. Well, she didn't call.

I don't always worry about that because, like I said, she goes out and parties with her friends and sometimes gets home past 11.

11:15, still no call. So, I called her. No answer. 11:30, I call again and now I know something is wrong. I live about 40 minutes away so I called her local police and asked them if they would check on my Mom. Much to my surprise, they said yes. It's a small town but I never expected for a minute that the police would do something like that.

Well, they called me from her house and said they couldn't get in with the neighbor's key because she uses a bar and a latch inside to secure all her doors. Hey, at 90, you get a little paranoid. LOL

Anyway, by the time I got there the cops and a couple neighbors were standing around messing with the door and I ran through that thing like Superman. Tore the SOB right off the hinges. Kind of amazed the 2 cops.

They went in first and found her laying on the floor next to her bed. She was kind of aware. Her eyes were following me but she couldn't move and she had very labored breathing.

They took her to the local hospital but Summa bought it and closed it (the ONLY hospital in the entire town... closed???) They still had the emergency so the stabilized her and moved to to another in the next town over.

She is on 100% life support. Eyes completely closed but I think she hears my voice. And she wiggles a little bit.

We already have the DNR in place and I don't think she's going to make it.

So, I know we have more than a few Atheists on board and I don't know where you guys go in times like this when you need support and inner strength. But, If you wouldn't going there and saying a little word for my Mom, I would tank you for it. the rest of you can just say a prayer to whatever God you believe in and I'll thank you to.

I am headed back in a few and you guys are the only family or friends that I have so I thought I would just kind of dump on you.



Thanks for the time.


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## Rosebud (May 23, 2016)

Oh man hackerman, I will keep you and she in my prayers. What a fabulous woman your mom is. Please know that she cherishes your  nightly  calls.  The life support is a worry. Big hugs..stay strong. Keep us posted.


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## Keef (May 23, 2016)

Peace be with U Hackerman !


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## High (May 23, 2016)

She'll be in my thoughts and prayers. ::big hug::


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## DirtyDiana (May 23, 2016)

So sorry Hackerman! Sounds like she is the best mom ever! Thanks for sharing with your MP family.


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## Grower13 (May 23, 2016)

Prayers sent Hack........


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## JustAnotherAntMarching (May 23, 2016)

very sorry to read this thread...  positive thoughts for a full recovery for your mother Hackerman...  :48:


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## yarddog (May 23, 2016)

Prayers sent, hackerman


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## Joe420Camel (May 23, 2016)

.

healing, peaceful thoughts, to both of you.

:48:


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## Rosebud (May 23, 2016)

Hackerman, i learned in hospice that your mom can hear you.


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## pcduck (May 23, 2016)

My prayers are been sent your families way.


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## Bongofury (May 23, 2016)

God bless your Mom and you Hackerman.....


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## The Hemp Goddess (May 24, 2016)

My thoughts are with you and your family Hackerman.  Your mother sounds like an incredible woman.  And she is lucky to have a son like you.


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## zigggy (May 24, 2016)

your mom sounds like a great women   I will pray you find the strength you need


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## Rosebud (May 24, 2016)

Still thinking of you guys Hackerman.:heart:


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## Hackerman (May 25, 2016)

Wow, thanks gang. You know, I remember seeing some posts and threads about how MP isn't growing big and maybe a mod did this or a member said that and whatever but to some people a forum is about more than just growing pot.

I don't know about anyone else but I think it's an awesome forum.

Mom passed tonight about 10:30. I was with her and got to hold her hand as she breathed her final breath. It was incredible. They had her heavily morphined after they moved her from CCU to Palliative Care and the Neurosurgeon said her stroke was massive so I don't know if she even knew I was there. But, I knew it and I was really glad to be there. I was so happy for her and I was smiling and crying at the same time. LOL

More than a few of the peeps in the hospital thought I was really strange to celebrate a death. Our family is very religious. Mom is Italian born and raised Roman Catholic. She went to church 2 or 3 times a week, She did Bible classes. She knitted prayer shawls for her church and as the priest said today when he came to give last rites, "She was an incredible soldier for the Lord".

Me, I'm a little different. I don't really participate in organized religion but I have read 9 different translations of the Bible and I'm working on learning Latin so I can do my own translation from an ancient version. And, I live by the Bible. Even the weird stuff that nobody does anymore like the seven sacred days and the pork and shellfish thing. I'm closer to a Hasidic Jew than a Christian. LOL It's not that I think shellfish or pork are all that bad. It's more a voluntary sacrifice that I have made on my own. And, I LOVE shellfish so that was a big one to give up. LOL 

I try to go by the Tora. It's the basic 5 books of Moses that tell you right from wrong. Don't eat rats and bugs. Don't have sex with your sister (although my sister was really hot. LOL) For those of you who have never read the Bible, it tells you very basically how to survive in a community situation. What do do with your sick and dead. Don't murder each other and don't steal or cheat each other. And, how to use a scale to measure food. And, how to store food and how to prepare it.  It even tells young girls what do do when they get their first period. It explains the best times for a man to get a woman pregnant. The rest of the Bible is a little more spiritual but the Tora is really what I said. A basic guideline of how to live and survive in what was, at the time, a very barbaric and savage world. Just think for a moment...350 years ago, we were burning women who were smarter than average or got lucky and saved someones life in what seemed like a mysterious way. We called them witches and we burned them at the stake. That was only 350 years ago. We were savages and believed in witchcraft. Can you even IMAGINE what society was like 4000 years ago. OMG!!! I can guarantee one thing, it's not like Cecil B Demille portrayed it. LOL

In short, Mom and I believe (as Gandolf said) "The journey does not end here. It continues on the other side". Now, a lot of people say that with their mouths. And, they claim to believe. But when it comes time to say it with their actions and their heart as a loved one is dying, they fail. Not me and Mom. We really really believe it so it's not a time to mourn. It is a time to celebrate. I am so happy for my Mother that she is with her daughter and son (who she lost 10 years ago). And, my Dad of 35 years . And, her second husband of 35 years. And her sisters and her brothers and her Mom and her Dad. Wow, her Dad. He died in the war in Italy when she was 16 when the Germans bombed Italy. That was 74 years ago. After 74 years, she gets to see her Dad. Pretty cool, I think. You know, when you live to be 90 years old, you have seen most of your friends and family die. I'll bet it's an incredible reunion. I wonder if my Dad will beat up her other husband at the reunion. LOL

I'm a little sad for me. I guess that just common selfishness but, I admit it. I'll miss her every night at 11:00. I know that. 

Well, I had no sleep Sunday night. About 3 or 4 hours Monday night and it's 3AM and I am about out of nervous energy and adrenaline so I'll say good night and......... Thanks for being here MP. And, thanks for allowing me to rant. I ran off on a big one this time. LOL

And, like I said, I don't care what anybody says, I think it's an awesome forum.


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## Rosebud (May 25, 2016)

Hackerman, I am sorry your mom has left this world. It is awesome you have the belief system you do.. I think i am Buddhist, not sure.  I am so glad you got to be with your mom as she left this place. I would like to go like she did... a great busy full life and then leave. 
You will be grieving and it is exhausting. So be kind to yourself and gentle even. Hugs to you. And keep writing, you are a gifted writer and I like to read what you write.


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## yarddog (May 25, 2016)

Hackerman, you impress me with your outlook on life and love.  It sounds like your mother had a good run.   She lived a long life, with family and loved ones close. I hope my life is as full as hers when I pass through this time on earth..


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## The Hemp Goddess (May 25, 2016)

I am so sorry Hackerman.  Even though I am an aaatheist, I understnd you celebrating death.  Your mom is in a place where there is no pain and she is reunited with the loved ones that went before her.  I am glad her passing was peaceful and that you could be there with her.  

The coming day will be hard.  Take care of yourself.  My thoughts are with you.


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## Moo (May 26, 2016)

Great thread.  Nice to see this .  It may be a forum only, but much more, real people, being there for another.  It does feel good to be heard and to know, you're able to to give a measure of support, whatever capacity.... is nice to see.

Best wishes to you and fam. during this loss, sounds like your heads on straight about it.  

Would you mind sharing more about her, a story she told perhaps, from her youth, or a viewpoint or perception/opinion, I am curious, am sure there are many.  Wow, 90.... that is blessed. 

Thanks for sharing, Hackerman, Take care.


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## Keef (May 26, 2016)

Sorry Cuz !--I'm glad U have something to believe in Hackerman !--- I'm a heathen !--- I lost my beliefs a long time ago !--- That doesn't mean I think death is the end !---- I think whatever comes next in our journey after death happens no matter what U believe !--- I like to use the story of a boy called "James 3" as an example !--- I have nothing to do with organized religion since I feel it is a tool for a small group or an individual to control the actions of others !---- Peace be with U and your mother as she continues her journey !--


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## Bongofury (May 26, 2016)

So sorry for your loss Hackerman.


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## orangesunshine (May 26, 2016)

sorry for your loss---your mom sounds like she lived her life to the fullest---surely she was proud of you and would want you to be mindful of her at her best---peace


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## mrcane (May 26, 2016)

..It is hard,sorry for your loss Hackerman. I have just returned from visiting with my parents both 92....Dad is giving up..and my Mom is there taking care of him...Bless her..
Peace be with you Brother....


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## High (May 26, 2016)

I'm so sorry Hackerman. It sounds like she had a great life and a loving family and she made use of every minute on this earth. 

May she now party in heaven.


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## Keef (May 26, 2016)

Moo-- Welcome to the MP family !-- When I say MP family all U have to do is look at a thread like this to know MP is more than just a thread or Web site !


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## Moo (May 26, 2016)

Thanks man..... I've been around a while..... just don't post too much.


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## burnin1 (May 31, 2016)

Prayer said for you and your family Hackerman.


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## kaotik (May 31, 2016)

so sorry for your loss hackerman.


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## stinkyelements (May 31, 2016)

Sorry to hear this Hackerman. Your in my thoughts...Stay positive


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## Kraven (Jun 1, 2016)

I try to visit as many threads as possible Hack, but this one spooked me bro. I understand, I  lost my mom a few months ago and I was afraid this was gonna be the outcome. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. This is going to be a strange time in your life, I adopted rose as my emom because sometime your just not ready. I hope the Lord gives you comfort and strength, his design is perfect. Everything happens for a reason. Sound like your mothers life was one to celebrate, she was lucky to be working it like a 40 yo when she was 90. I hope you find peace in her passing.


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