The Original Old Farts Club

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
I wish I were blonde
Blonde moment.jpg
GO Team!.jpg
 
Hey ya'll....worked in the yard today, and trying to get a foundation going for my greenhouse....was pulling my hair out....
Me and the wife both hurting, her shoulder, and hip/leg, and my back and right elbow. We're falling apart together...lol I was going to grill chicken, but she saw how hard I was working, and cussing...lol So said she would just fry it instead, good woman there.
Finally able to get some plants started, found some seed. Must of been 7-8 years old, put 4 in, and all 4 sprouted...I think they were Critical Mass, wasn't sure of my writin'.
 
I’m curious, did you and your wife get hurt in the storm that came over your way or was this some other silly human trick you did… I can’t remember a day when I didn’t wake up hurting. I’m grateful that I wake up at all…
 
I’m curious, did you and your wife get hurt in the storm that came over your way or was this some other silly human trick you did… I can’t remember a day when I didn’t wake up hurting. I’m grateful that I wake up at all…
No we weren't hurt in the storm...some of hers is where she had a tumor on her calf, at 9 years old. Her parents took her to a quack, that cut part of her calf muscle off, and never prescribed physical therapy. She walked on her toes on one foot, then she saw a specialist at 33 years old, and she could walk normal. But the years of walking messed up took a toll on her legs, feet, and she has degenerative spine issues. And she has worked in hard labor most of her life, so the torn rotor cuff is from that. Mine is back issues, I've had for years, and the recent elbow pains for the last year, I have no clue, but don't like the docs.... We are just getting into the hurting stage of life, I reckon...
 
They also talked about another deal, a "Sea cucumber" which you should ask about before you eat it. Sounds innocent enough right? Nope. Not going to eat it.
Oh, dear... Now we come to one of Himself's Horribobble Happenings:

I had to eat sea cucumber. It was important that I not be a "foreign devil" in my position.

The chef brought out what looked like the dark, infected schlong of a dead rhinoceros. Or a giant, diseased caterpillar from Hell. These things are really one giant *****. <-- Fact.

Back to the chef. We had three little pearly-white dishes in front of us. There was a different sauce in each. The chef begins slicing and whirling stuff and yada. In no time each person had been given a plate of artfully cut thin slices of King Kong's dork.

The slices were very thin, and about an inch square. {Side Note: (this happens when I am high) Mebbe I cannot catch a fly with chopsticks, but I can easily pick of a grain of rice with them. Some of my chopsticks cost $25. Side Note OFF}

So I picked up a slimy square of dong, and dipped it in the first sauce. No good; some kind of kimche sauce, and I do not like rotted cabbage. Second square, and I hit pay dirt -- to this day I have no idea what the sauce was. Thick, smooth, tart... and completely covered up the slime of the raw slice of winky.

Here, Gentle Reader, is where I fukked up. Royally. But wound up a huge, flaming success! D'ysee, I was so interested in getting rid of all the raw sliced pecker squares using the wonderful sauce as a cover, that I used only that sauce to choke the dong down.

And in doing so, I failed to notice that the others at the table had only gotten halfway through their piles of square meat whistle. And they were all sitting straighter, most looking at me benevolently.

The chef immediately piled my plate with another, larger, bunch of heaped johnson slices!

I went through the second plate very slowly, and was definitely nowhere near first in finishing.

That fact was -- I had, by my action, acquired a blue ton of rongyu** -- Everyone thought that I had admired the chef's work and presentation so much that I had finished before everyone instead of impolitely avoiding eating it. Their very pleased response demanded the courtesy that my plate was to be filled again. <-- My apparently hurried gobbling was the exact opposite of what a Big Nose foreign devil would have done.

**rongyu/shouyu <-- Honor
 
Last edited:
I have never eatin a sea cucumber.
But I have seen plenty of Long Island sea cucumbers.
In Port Jefferson in the harbor we have Pirates Cove.
I have gone there since I was six.
In the summer there are at least 70 boats moored and everyone is eating drinking and swimming in the cove.
Thats when the L.I.sea cucumbers start coming around .Floating aimlessly ,.It seems after lunch ,the more people in the water the cuke population rises and they float around everywhere. Sometimes you can see a cloud of baby sea cucumbers following someone floating on a noodle . They are sneaky and appear out of nowhere.
 
I have never eatin a sea cucumber.
But I have seen plenty of Long Island sea cucumbers.
In Port Jefferson in the harbor we have Pirates Cove.
I have gone there since I was six.
In the summer there are at least 70 boats moored and everyone is eating drinking and swimming in the cove.
Thats when the L.I.sea cucumbers start coming around .Floating aimlessly ,.It seems after lunch ,the more people in the water the cuke population rises and they float around everywhere. Sometimes you can see a cloud of baby sea cucumbers following someone floating on a noodle . They are sneaky and appear out of nowhere.
That is the sea poohcumber I do believe
 
Oh, dear... Now we come to one of Himself's Horribobble Happenings:

I had to eat sea cucumber. It was important that I not be a "foreign devil" in my position.

The chef brought out what looked like the dark, infected schlong of a dead rhinoceros. Or a giant, diseased caterpillar from Hell. These things are really one giant *****. <-- Fact.

Back to the chef. We had three little pearly-white dishes in front of us. There was a different sauce in each. The chef begins slicing and whirling stuff and yada. In no time each person had been given a plate of artfully cut thin slices of King Kong's dork.

The slices were very thin, and about an inch square. {Side Note: (this happens when I am high) Mebbe I cannot catch a fly with chopsticks, but I can easily pick of a grain of rice with them. Some of my chopsticks cost $25. Side Note OFF}

So I picked up a slimy square of dong, and dipped it in the first sauce. No good; some kind of kimche sauce, and I do not like rotted cabbage. Second square, and I hit pay dirt -- to this day I have no idea what the sauce was. Thick, smooth, tart... and completely covered up the slime of the raw slice of winky.

Here, Gentle Reader, is where I fukked up. Royally. But wound up a huge, flaming success! D'ysee, I was so interested in getting rid of all the raw sliced pecker squares using the wonderful sauce as a cover, that I used only that sauce to choke the dong down.

And in doing so, I failed to notice that the others at the table had only gotten halfway through their piles of square meat whistle. And they were all sitting straighter, most looking at me benevolently.

The chef immediately piled my plate with another, larger, bunch of heaped johnson slices!

I went through the second plate very slowly, and was definitely nowhere near first in finishing.

That fact was -- I had, by my action, acquired a blue ton of rongyu** -- Everyone thought that I had admired the chef's work and presentation so much that I had finished before everyone instead of impolitely avoiding eating it. Their very pleased response demanded the courtesy that my plate was to be filled again. <-- My apparently hurried gobbling was the exact opposite of what a Big Nose foreign devil would have done.

**rongyu/shouyu <-- Honor
I don't think I could eat one of those. I tried octopus once and calamari once.

ONCE.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top