They also talked about another deal, a "Sea cucumber" which you should ask about before you eat it. Sounds innocent enough right? Nope. Not going to eat it.
Oh, dear... Now we come to one of Himself's Horribobble Happenings:
I
had to eat sea cucumber. It was important that I not be a "foreign devil" in my position.
The chef brought out what looked like the dark, infected schlong of a dead rhinoceros. Or a giant, diseased caterpillar from Hell. These things are really one giant *****. <-- Fact.
Back to the chef. We had three little pearly-white dishes in front of us. There was a different sauce in each. The chef begins slicing and whirling stuff and yada. In no time each person had been given a plate of artfully cut thin slices of King Kong's dork.
The slices were very thin, and about an inch square. {Side Note: (this happens when I am high) Mebbe I cannot catch a fly with chopsticks, but I can easily pick of a grain of rice with them. Some of my chopsticks cost $25. Side Note OFF}
So I picked up a
slimy square of dong, and dipped it in the first sauce. No good; some kind of kimche sauce, and I do not like rotted cabbage. Second square, and I hit pay dirt -- to this day I have no idea what the sauce was. Thick, smooth, tart... and completely covered up the slime of the raw slice of winky.
Here, Gentle Reader, is where I fukked up. Royally. But wound up a huge, flaming success! D'ysee, I was so interested in getting rid of all the raw sliced pecker squares using the wonderful sauce as a cover, that I used only that sauce to choke the dong down.
And in doing so, I failed to notice that the others at the table had only gotten halfway through their piles of square meat whistle. And they were all sitting straighter, most looking at me benevolently.
The chef immediately piled my plate with another, larger, bunch of heaped johnson slices!
I went through the second plate very slowly, and was definitely nowhere near first in finishing.
That fact was -- I had, by my action, acquired a blue ton of
rongyu** -- Everyone thought that I had admired the chef's work and presentation so much that I had finished before everyone instead of
impolitely avoiding eating it. Their very pleased response demanded the courtesy that
my plate was to be filled again. <-- My apparently hurried gobbling was the exact opposite of what a Big Nose foreign devil would have done.
**rongyu/shouyu <-- Honor